Sophia Money-Coutts on why she has no wish to become a Lady
Whether the law is changed or not, I won’t be styling myself as Lady Latymer – the thought makes me cringe
Should I pinch my brother’s title? Downing Street is drawing up plans to abolish male primogeniture among toffs, which means that, as my father’s eldest child, I could bid for his title when he kicks it and become Lady Latymer. Or even Lord Latymer. It’s 2021, after all.
The advantages? Stealing it from my brother, 15 months younger than me, would make up for all the times he’s beaten me at Scrabble. It’s part of my family history, even though there was a dodgy baron who enjoyed a spot of incest back in the day. It might be useful for booking tables in restaurants.
Disadvantages? It’s not 1821 and I would feel thoroughly deserving of a kicking if I went around styling myself as Lady Latymer having done nothing to earn it. Also, it would make me sound 900 years old, a Wildean character with strong opinions about handbags.
Actually, social sands have shifted so much in a generation that I know that neither my brother nor I will use the title whatever happens with the law. I’m full of admiration for Charlotte Carew Pole, who’s leading the campaign to change it on behalf of her daughter Jemima, since it’s feudal nonsense to overlook sisters in favour of their brothers. But so are all inherited titles. Why should any of us style ourselves differently because a plucky ancestor fought a good battle several centuries ago?
It was my birthday earlier this month and a few cards arrived addressed to The Hon Sophia Money-Coutts from those who know that Dad has a title, making me cringe so hard I thought I’d sprained a muscle. I’ve never used this title, nor should I, considering that I often forget to brush my teeth and sometimes sniff socks to see if they’ve got another day in them. I’ll admit to a touch of reverse snobbery here, embarrassment at the fact that – title or not – I’ve been given so much in life when others haven’t. But I’d rather be accused of false snobbery than think myself in any way superior to someone whose ancestor was less handy with a bayonet.
As No10 “looks at” this matter, plenty will scoff at parliamentary time being devoted to such an archaic business. “Some British women don’t have a safe place to sleep tonight, so why should we care that others don’t have dukedoms?” Helen Lewis wrote in a typically brilliant piece in The Atlantic. But it’s important; more than mere tokenism.
Casual sexism, and casual racism, remain rampant around certain dinner party tables
Casual sexism, along with casual racism, remains rampant around certain dinner party tables and this is a signal to the sort of people who’ve cried “Well done!” or “Clever girl!” whenever a friend of mine has given birth to a boy.
Moreover, why should firstborns inherit? I don’t feel like I should be afforded any privileges over my brother or younger sister thanks to biological good fortune. Plenty of aristocratic families will insist that their titles are an important part of their heritage, and fine, fine. We all want to pass a bit of ourselves down, whether it’s old china or the Viscountcy of Hull. For those families who really mind, why not play Rock, Paper, Scissors and settle the title that way? It would make just as much sense.