Knitting gave me peace when I lost my son and it can help you too
Jane George tells Madeleine Howell how picking up a pair of needles helped her to cope with her family’s devastating loss
Jane George, 56, and Anthony George, 63, are the parents of three boys: Dr Alex George, 30, the former Love Island contestant and A&E doctor recently appointed youth ambassador for mental health by Prime Minister Boris Johnson; Elliott, 26, and Llŷr. Their youngest son took his own life aged 19 in July last year.
For Jane, the grief was overwhelming, and she struggled to come to terms with feelings of guilt. “It’s a continuous barrage in your mind. Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t he say? Those thoughts can be all of every day,” she explains over the phone from her home in Carmarthenshire.
“Eventually, I went to see a friend, who suggested I start knitting again, which my mum taught me as a child. So I ordered some wool. While I was knitting, I didn’t think of anything except the pattern, which gave me peace. I made so many wrist warmers that Anthony suggested I start selling them.”
Just before Christmas, Jane started taking orders, sold with a handwritten card and buttons inscribed “Our boy Llŷr”. She was quickly inundated. “Friends of friends began to help, and we had so many requests we couldn’t knit quickly enough. Alex set up @knitformentalhealth for me on Instagram, and overnight we had hundreds of people wanting to knit for us all over the country.” Now, Jane is selling the creations of her burgeoning Knit for Mental Health community via Yodomo, the online crafting platform, to raise awareness and funds for mental health charities. Alongside pictures of the knitted creations, Alex has expressed the immense pride he feels in his mother’s achievements in “creating an incredible community of knitters across the UK”. Addressing his 1.9 million followers on Instagram, he recently urged them to find something that brings calm, because “self-care is an investment well worth your time”.
Through Knit for Mental Health, Jane’s mission is to create an openminded community in which creativity is encouraged, and every voice is heard. “The idea is that people’s mental health can be improved as a result of being part of it. Our knitters and crocheters have generously raided their wool stashes for us, and we try to send wool to those who haven’t got any. Anyone who wants to have a reason to knit can get involved. I had one message from someone whose 85-year-old mother is struggling with loneliness, and being part of this has given her purpose.
“It’s knitting for a good cause and making a difference, which has got to be a good thing. We have knitters from the furthest reaches of Scotland to Kent. I try to get back to everyone who contacts us, or sends me their stories. I’d love to inspire people who are new to knitting – both men and women, young and old – to give it a try. I read in Vogue recently that knitting is as good as yoga, because you’re completely in the moment. The first thing I’d suggest is a snood. I’d like to do my own tutorial videos one day, but for now, I’ve selected what I think is the best YouTube video to send to beginners, to help them get started,” she says.
While Jane has permission to use the original copyrighted wrist-warmer pattern she credits with “keeping her sane”, all other Knit for Mental Health patterns have come from within the community: from Nanny Lee’s design to Norma’s pattern for simple cable fingerless gloves and Erica’s “starburst” version. “As individuals, they’re thrilled to see their patterns going out into the world. It makes them feel they have a skill that can be shared. For us, to see Llŷr’s name on the buttons means he’s not forgotten,” she says.
On Feb 19, which would have been Llŷr’s 20th birthday, Alex wrote a heartfelt tribute to his brother alongside a picture of the two together on his graduation day. “You were 14 in this picture. I remember how proud you were of me graduating as a doctor. You ran up to me after the ceremony with the biggest smile,” he recalled. “You would have loved medical school and gone on to achieve so much. The very kindest of souls. We had so many plans for road trips, adventures and enjoying cars. I think about you every single day my boy. It is impossibly hard at times, we miss you so much as a family. I have always been so proud of you. I hope you are proud of me.”
It’s also of vital importance to both Jane and her husband Anthony to help to educate other parents to spot the signs, before it’s too late. “Depression doesn’t have to be fatal. If you go to the Mind charity or the Samaritans website, you can look at how to spot the warning signs that someone is contemplating suicide. If I could, I’d stop the world for 15 minutes and ask everyone to learn what to do if they see those signs.
“I don’t want anyone to have to go through what we’re going through: I want to help others be better equipped to recognise mental health issues in the people around them.” To spread their message, she hopes to work with schools in the near future.
“People who are struggling won’t always talk about it, especially young boys. But there are subtle signs. You have to listen to not only what people are saying, but how they’re saying it.
“Young people live in a world of bullying on social media, pressure to succeed in education, and limited in-person social contact. In this strange world, parents are the first line of defence. We need to be like the SAS, but in reality, we’re more like Dad’s Army.”
‘If I could, I would stop the world for 15 minutes and ask everyone to learn what to do if they see those signs’