We don’t want to lose our youngest son to gaming like we did his big brother

When we had our eldest child, we were in our mid-20s. We were fresh out of university, blindsided by a range of factors including ailing parents. We tried our best with our son: he was pampered, indulged and much loved. He fitted perfectly into our family; a new baby brother to my own brother, a younger cousin for our nephews.

My husband bought him a Nintendo DS for a car journey to France when he was two and a half. Since that summer, he has been crazy about computer games. I used to take him to the park after school to avoid getting home and succumbing to screens. I would go to great lengths to avoid screen time. But in time I had other children to look after, and the bad habits set in.

A young boy who loves to spend all his time gaming is not exactly a novel concept. I am sure I am in good company when I express concern about just how many hours my son loves to spend gaming. Don’t get me wrong, I did not and I don’t think screens and gaming are inherently wrong; what concerned me at the time was my son’s lack of interest in other areas. We are surrounded by fields, streams and woodland and have a large garden to boot. My three daughters and I have spent many an afternoon outdoors in the garden having a dollies’ tea party, or roaming around in the willow tree woodland at the bottom of the valley dipping our toes in the streams.

To all intents and purposes we live on a nature reserve, but as far as my son is concerned I worry we might as well live in Dagenham. He never wanted to be dragged out on walks; he wanted to be online with his mates on his wretched Xbox. As often as not I left him at home with my husband for the sake of peace.

I remember the previous owner of our house saying that her own son would make dens in the woods. I knew at that moment that my son wouldn’t be up for that; it just wasn’t really his thing. Every play date when he was younger needed to be supervised helicopterstyle to ensure that he and his friend didn’t spend the entire duration of the afternoon gaming. I spent a small fortune on toys like Paint Your Own Car and Airfix model aircraft – anything to attempt any sort of diversion from the wretched screens.

Now he is 14, and I have to admit that all that gaming hasn’t turned him into some sort of Vitamin D-deficient sociopath. He’s a whizz on the chess board, he’s bright and well informed, and he’s in the first rugby team at school.

But my youngest son is approaching the age his big brother was when he had his first fateful encounter with the gaming console. He won’t be getting a DS for Christmas; and for the most part he shows no signs of wanting one.

For now he is kept fairly busy by his big sisters, something his brother never experienced. One gamer in the family is enough as far as they – and I – are concerned.

We live on a nature reserve, but as far as my son is concerned I worry we might as well live in Dagenham