“I don’t know how long we’ve been married. Decades. Aeons.”

People are always amazed when they hear that me and Tanya have been married 34 years. Oh, 37, is it love? 37. My god. And you know we’ve actually been together even longer? We met at uni. It’s incredible to think of all our friends who have been through break-ups and divorces, found new partners and started new lives and new families, and here we are just the two of us – now the kids have moved out – and we’re still together, just like we’ve always been together, and still just as much in love as we were all those years ago. Well, I’d say at least as much in love as we were, say, 20 years ago… 25. It’s a hard thing to quantify, love, isn’t it? We’re good friends, anyway, not the kind of friend that you see once in a while and have a laugh with, but the kind you see all the time and kind of… get used to. Rely on.

Predictability. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? No nasty surprises, like moving house or going on holiday somewhere different. Perhaps that’s why we’re still in the same jobs, as well, after all this time. Some people scamper up that career ladder so fast that they fall off the top! That’s not our way. We’ve both been middle managers at the same company for ages now, and nobody seems in a hurry to get rid of us! Or promote us…

So, 35 years together, is it? Amazing. 37? Right. Separate hobbies, of course – and interests. That’s important. And televisions – the iPad is a godsend for that kind of thing, isn’t it? Especially in bed. Beds, I mean. I guess in the end it’s all down to imagination. I just can’t imagine being with anyone except Tan. Not even when I try.