Rolling news: HRH’s lavatorial habits still a mystery

Having recently written about Putin’s £950 loo brush, I don’t want to come across as someone who’s obsessed with lavatorial matters. That said, in Tina Brown’s new book, The Palace Papers, she reveals that Prince Charles insists on travelling everywhere with his own supply of “Kleenex Velvet” loo roll. The only trouble is, having done extensive research into this (you’re welcome), there isn’t any such thing. There’s Kleenex Quilted or Kleenex Comfort, and there’s another brand entirely called Velvet that makes Velvet Comfort, Velvet Classic Quilted and even Velvet Triple Soft. But I can’t find any trace of Kleenex Velvet. Unless Brown means that Prince Charles likes Kleenex Balsam on his bottom, but those are technically tissues and we can’t honestly be expected to believe that the future king is carting about boxes of tissues for his ablutions, can we? Urgent clarification is needed.