The girl bullying her classmates could be a leader in the making
FROM Elizabeth I’s fiery temper to Margaret Thatcher’s habit of “handbagging” people who disagreed with her, many great leaders have had a tendency to bullying.
Now a chartered psychologist has suggested girls who bully and leave playmates quaking should be seen as potential great leaders.
Suggesting the young tyrants should be supported by adults rather than just punished, Dr Sam Littlemore said “alpha females” tend to manipulate those around them through fear.
However, they can learn to be nice but effective through being teamed with kinder leaders, who can help them use power in a less anti-social way.
“Allow her to spend time with another girl who is the head of a group who helps with parents’ evenings. Let the girl bully associate herself not necessarily with a good girl but a girl who has strong leadership skills,” said Dr Littlemore, who has advised hundreds of schools.
This way, the girl can learn to “still be strong and influence people and that she can do it in a kinder way without getting into trouble all the
time”. Dr Littlemore, author of Girl Bullying: Do I Look
Bothered?, also said alpha females should be exposed to bullying through characters such as Regina George from the film Mean Girls to help them understand the behaviour is unhelpful.
“It’s not asking her to look at herself directly because that can be scary for many people.” By doing that the bully will understand “she can change her behaviour and that she has choice”. Dr Littlemore said in Teach Primary
magazine that a girl bully “destroys her victims to show her power, because she can. The children learn that it must be OK ... because no one challenges her.”
But she said such children are often terrified inside. She emphasised while bullying girls should be given support from adults, there should also be sanctions to deter the behaviour.
Studies show two in three girls say they are bullied.
‘She destroys her victims to show her power, because she can. The children think it must be OK’