‘We’d spend another £25k to get a civil partnership’
A heterosexual couple fighting for the right to become civil partners tell
couples can become civil partners, so the pair decided to launch a legal challenge, arguing that they were being discriminated against because of their sexual orientation.
After four years and thousands of pounds, their case was rejected last week by the Court of Appeal, whose judges did accept that there was a potential breach of human rights, but maintained that the Government needed more time to decide on the future of civil partnerships.
“Naturally we were disappointed,” says Steinfeld, who had believed their fight was over. “It was actually a very narrow loss. [All] three judges agree with our argument that just getting married is not sufficient, and they have a very short time now in which to act to open civil partnerships to all.”
The couple now hope the Government will decide to introduce civil partnerships for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation. If not, they will have to continue their legal battle, and spend at least £25,000 on another appeal.
“It’s an extremely onerous amount for a young couple with a child, so we hope that if it comes to an appeal, people who support us will dig deep,” says Steinfeld, admitting that although they have had free legal advice and donations via online crowd-funding, they have already spent around £7,000 of their own money.
“We had no idea that we’d get to the position we’re in now, nor that it would be so hard or arduous a process,” admits Keidan. “Once we’d made the decision – which we don’t regret for one minute – we were past the point of no return.”
He and Steinfeld, both academics, met during a lecture on Gaza at the London School of Economics in 2010. It didn’t take long to realise that they shared a similar outlook on life, and they have been together ever since, living in Hammersmith, west London.
“We see ourselves as equal partners,” says Keidan, who splits childcare and housework with Steinfeld and refuses to be photographed with her back to him for fear it will imply inequality.
Their daughter Eden, now aged 21 months, was born in the midst of their legal battle. They decided to give her the surname of Keidstein – blending their surnames. They are still deciding what they would do with their own names should their civil partnership ever happen.
Both were raised by happily married parents. “I grew up on Disney films, like the next person, with the idealisation of romantic love and marriage being the pinnacle of that, and it all being about glass slippers and amazing jewellery,” Steinfeld says. “But there came a point when I understood the problematic history of marriage. The same is true for Charlie.”
Luckily, their more traditional parents have come round to their way of thinking. “I remember quite vividly when we told Charlie’s mum we were engaged to be civil partners, she said ‘Fantastic, at least you’re doing something!’,” laughs Steinfeld. “For parents whose kids don’t want to marry, they’re thrilled there could be something on the horizon to offer them protections.”
Their fight has also struck a chord with more than 70,000 people, who have signed a petition in favour of civil partnerships being open to all, and they believe the 3.3 million cohabiting couples in the UK would also benefit from a change in law.
The legal basis for their argument is that they are being discriminated against as a straight couple. However, some have taken offence at the thought that the discrimination they face, as an educated middle-class straight couple, is worthy of a court battle.
Now that same-sex marriage is legal, civil partnerships are arguably no longer necessary. Yet Steinfeld points out that there have still been more than 2,500 such ceremonies in England and Wales since same-sex marriage was legalised, suggesting there is still a need for it.
“There’s also a misconception that they’re a threat to marriage, which we strongly reject,” she says.
She and Keidan are reconciled to the fact that their four-year engagement will doubtless roll on for several more years, but they will not stop fighting for the day when they can walk out of a register office, hand in hand, as civil partners.
“It would be a simple, formal arrangement,” says Keidan, imagining the ceremony they have spent so long battling for. “We could express our values in a way that’s important to us. But, given all the thousands of people who have come to support us, it would also be an opportunity to thank them” – and, Steinfeld smiles, “have a mega party.”