A little more pollen on your risotto, sir?

Today I am dealing with readers’ queries about edible flowers, particularly the legal and etiquette issues involved.

- I bought a tray of edible flowers in the supermarket and the check-out person charged me extra for the butterfly which had settled on them. Is this right?

Yes. The legal precedent is Hopkins v Ambrose & Sons Superior Fruiterers. The judge ruled that the greengrocer was within his rights to charge the customer for two caterpillars on his spring greens.

SIR - If my girlfriend has a rose petal stuck between her teeth, should I mention it to her?

Say nothing but reach out, remove the petal and place it in her hair.

SIR - When I give a dinner party and one of the guests brings me a bouquet, am I obliged to serve it as the main course?

Save the bouquet for another meal, but invite your guests into the garden for a pre-dinner graze.

SIR - At a restaurant the other evening I had an allergic reaction to the pollen on the flowers on my plate, sneezed and blew all the flowers onto the risotto of a man at a nearby table. What is the correct procedure when this happens? This is a frequent occurrence. The waiter should know by now that he must whisk the plate from under the man’s nose, pick out the flowers and return them to you. If you sneeze again the man at the next table can keep the flowers.

SIR - My friend says buttercups are high in cholesterol. Is that true?

Yes, but it is now possible to get low-fat buttercups in health shops for £20 for a bunch of six. You should also know that a single petunia contains as much salt as two packets of crisps. SIR - I sent an Instagram picture of my egg-white omelette to my boyfriend and he said it was over between us because the pansies on the plate were scowling at him. How can I tell him I still love him?

You can’t. Sending someone a photo of a pansy on your plate is now the accepted way of telling them they are dumped. Dear Chris Packham, I was delighted to read your comments last week, calling on gardeners to be more tolerant towards slugs. I, too, have a soft spot for the little scamps

You may be interested in my Adopt-a-Mollusc scheme. For £50, you get a handsome scroll, certifying that you have adopted the slug and you get to choose its name. After this, I send you regular updates on what he has been up to, what interesting plants he has devoured and any other momentous events that may have occurred in my garden.

Have you heard of Slime Art? I am hoping to get Tate Modern interested. I take your slug and allow it to wander over a canvas, making interesting patterns with its glittery slime. Your adopted slug’s original artwork is then framed, ready to hang on your wall, for just £500.

Also, have you thought of a BBC series called Slugwatch? For a small fee, you could pitch a tent in my garden and stay there for six or seven nights. Bring that nice Michaela Strachan.

By the way, how do you feel l about

at telegraph.co.uk/ opinion