Like their mother, they touch the people
When news came through of Diana’s death, like most of the world, I was shocked. It seemed inexplicable. She was vibrant and alive and her sudden absence felt almost like a physical blow.
Then at her funeral a week or so later, like everyone else, my attention was drawn to her young sons, Princes William and Harry. I remember thinking, how are they coping with this extraordinary experience, a profound grief which had to be shared so publicly?
Now, 20 years later, I have had the privilege of asking these young men about that moment as well as the experiences of joy, love and laughter which they shared with their mum, for the documentary Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy. The film is a retrospective look at the life and legacy of one of the most famous women of our times, told by two of the most famous people on Earth.
It is unique and yet oddly universal, as it explores how we all deal with grief and bereavement, how we keep loved ones alive through our memories, and by living through and for them. I hope this is what will resonate most powerfully with the audience. I am lucky to have had the chance to make the film. The idea came about thanks to a documentary I made [ The Queen at 90], which was broadcast in April 2016. By the end of the filming process, I had met and worked with both the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and Prince Harry. Last year, we began talking to Kensington Palace about making another film.
Out of these conversations came the idea that this was the right time for the two people who knew and loved Diana the most to talk about her for the first time. The princes made it clear they had never talked about her at length before and would never do so again.
But having agreed to make this film, they talked honestly about growing up with Diana, their relationship with her, and how keenly she loved them.
It was an enormous privilege and opportunity, although it was also rather daunting to talk to the princes about memories and moments which were personal, private and sometimes painful. The interviews – which took place at the start of the year – were pretty intense.
I had one-to-one conversations with the Duke and Prince Harry, and followed them as they went about their charity work. Most poignantly of all, I filmed them together when they opened up the private photograph albums which charted their childhoods, albums which Diana herself had made for them.
Perhaps the most heart-rending moment was when they talked about the last time they spoke to her – the night before she died. And they revealed how they feel about those conversations now, and what they might have said to her if they had known what was about to happen.
From what the princes say, it is clear that this film could not have been made any earlier. It has taken so long to make sense of what had happened, to navigate what the Duke calls the “earthquake” of bereavement. But they are both approaching the age Diana was when she died. They are keen to share her achievements and explain her legacy to a new generation who never knew Diana. And it’s a significant legacy. After all, she destigmatised HIV and Aids, reached out to the homeless, talked openly about issues like mental health and bulimia, and played a crucial part in the Ottawa landmine ban in 1997.
These are all enormously important achievements. Moreover, she shaped the way public figures relate and reach out to people, embracing them emotionally and physically.
Perhaps the princes are talking about their mum for the next generation of Royals too. The Duke of Cambridge makes clear that his own parenting owes much to his mum’s style – like her, he tries to give his children as ordinary a life as possible, with privacy and space, as well as lots of cuddles, jokes and love.
Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised at the princes’ candour, for they are, after all, their mother’s sons. She was a byword for informality, great at sharing her experiences – good or bad.
Diana lives on through her work but also through her sons’ ability to be open and communicate, and to touch people’s hearts with their honesty.
Ashley Gething is director and producer of ‘Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy’
‘It has taken so long to make sense of what had happened, to navigate the earthquake of bereavement’