Of course you can wear a bikini in middle age, but there are rules
It’s not a case of having the right body for a two-piece, it’s about the right attitude, says
Reading the words “midlife bikini” – as in a bikini worn by women in their forties and beyond – will strike you one of two ways. Either you’ll think: “You must be joking” or “Yes? What about them?” And the funny thing is, your response will have less to do with your body than with your style.
I have a friend who is as skinny as a rope, and a bit of a tomboy. If looking fit was the only criteria of midlifebikini wearing, she’d be there – but, as it happens, she wears a navy onepiece with a white trim. She thinks it’s more fresh and less try hard. I know fit women who have worn swimming costumes since their twenties, and others who let it all hang out in a bikini, their one rule being that there’s nothing wrong with a bit of a tummy so long as it’s tanned.
And now that I’m well past my bikini peak but still wearing one (you bet), I realise that it’s not about yes or no, or time to put it away, but what makes you feel good, and making the necessary adjustments. Despite the fashion set declaring a return to the one-piece, bikini wearers will stay in their bikinis come hell or high water, well, because they are fun. Also, let’s face it, because a one-piece in a hot climate is like purgatory and you may feel like you are wearing a centrally heated girdle.
So, yes, you can wear a bikini in midlife, but there are rules. This is what you need to know.
your time and place
If you are swimming in the UK in average weather, you are wearing a one-piece. The time and place for the midlife bikini is in strong sun, lying on a sun lounger, within reach of a wrap.
Think twice about where and when
You are not walking down to the beach, wandering to the ice cream shop, hopping on to a bar stool, the way you used to in the old days. You may do all of the above but covered up. Sorry, but that is the big rule. Don’t forget yourself and drift about in your bikini like a teenage temptress in a French film.
will, therefore, want a light cover-up
... to wear on the move. A white Indian kurta – slightly sheer, and slit up the sides so you don’t look too Demis Roussos – is a good alternative for those who are allergic to beach kaftans and kimonos.
Pick a grown-up style
Elle Macpherson and Gwyneth Paltrow continue to wear their stringtie bikinis (I know!) because they have the bodies of fit twentysomethings. The rest of us are wearing a more midlife-appropriate bikini: not flimsy, small or high-cut. (Toast do good coverage, and you can buy the tops and bottoms in different sizes. Also, bikinis with a bit of ruching are surprisingly flattering, as are boy shorts, which you can find in surf shops.) Avoid bikini bottoms with a little modesty skirt. They just make you think: why wear one at all?
That said, don’t cover up too much
A high-waisted bottom should be the answer to all our problems but, oddly, you have to have the figure of Cara Delevingne to get away with them. They hardly suit anyone, and all of them are under 30, which is why you’ll never see Elle or Gwynnie in big pants. And it’s not just bottoms that are hard to wear big either. Those tankinis are a definite no-no, the worst of both worlds, not to mention a bit “junior miss”. If you want that much coverage, then go for a one-piece.
Shane Watson
A tan is always best
But now it’s essential. If you have a torso that hasn’t seen the sun since last August, then you might be advised to invest in some tan in a can.
Ditch the frills
No pelmets or ruffles. No bows, gingham or broderie anglaise trims. Nothing cutesy or fancy or zip up the front, or lace up the side, or wet look with a Bond Girl belt. You know this, but we can all get carried away. No tricks, especially not the ooh la la, sexy moi sort.
No accessorising
Not saying you would, or were even thinking of it, but it’s cooler to play it down. You will not be needing the wide-brimmed straw hat, the raffia wedges or lace-up gladiator sandals, or the pom-pom trim necklace and upper-arm bracelet.
The colour you choose will depend on your skin tone
But the midlife bikini works best in sophisticated shades like olive, aubergine and chocolate. Polka dots are weirdly ageing. Navy is too sensible. Black – well it’s not working so well for anything else in our wardrobes, so, probably not.
Be flexible
The truth is when it comes to midlife bikinis versus the onepiece you will alternate between the two, depending on how you feel. And it’s all about how you feel. Well, it is also about consideration for others. You owe it to your friends and family not to cross the line marked “makes us feel slightly uncomfortable”. That’s why we’ve put together this list.
‘No ruffles. No bows. No tricks, especially not the sexy moi sort’