When blue lights signal the party’s over in suburbia

Sources close to Mrs Eileen local primary schools) and parking. 76 per cent of British voters, when Wilkinson say she does not There has been clarification of Mr shown a picture of a ladder, recognise accounts of the dinner Wimpole’s unsuccessful attempt at a experience feelings of anxiety about party she held last week and is at a loss rapprochement with Ms Tracey their gutters. to explain how they got into the public Fulsome over the smoked salmon We liked the idea of a tilting domain. Leaked reports about the mousse. It is understood that a slap rectangle. This says: “We are going party at the Wilkinsons’ Georgianensued. A bunch of chrysanthemums back to the drawing board” about bout style home in Basingstoke suggested is known to have been sent. policies, but also, more importantly, tantly, the tart of autumn berries looked Brexit was not on the agenda, but about designing a new logo. It t also Itw witches. It’s the season Surely for it’s demeaning time to kill off “despondent”, the anecdotes told by Mrs Sophie Cress made some looks like a solar panel, showing ng the

Mrs Wilkinson’s husband Simon observations about her future party cares about the environment. ment.

“failed to amuse” and the trick relations with France following her However, it may remind some e people this witchist w stereotype of the warty performed by Guy Wimpole, one of weekend break in Toulouse. It appears of collapsing flatpack furniture. re. old ha hag in a pointy hat. First of all, we the guests, with an ice cube, five this led to some informal exchanges Horizontal wavy lines are always lways must get g rid of that broomstick, an matches and a teaspoon of petits pois about the EU which quickly became effective. We could have clusters ters of out-dated out-da symbol of household was “unhelpful”. even more informal. Wilkinsonian three wavy lines, depicting furrowed rrowed drudgery. drudg The modern witch is likely

Accounts, believed to emanate from connections emphasise the bulk of brows, saying “We are caring” ” – and to have hav a laptop, an independent a disgruntled vegetarian who was these discussions took place on the holding a meeting to choose a logo. woman wom who probably has her own present, say it took just one guest to pavement and they were unaware of What about a blank square with an business bus and dressed in a stylish shift his left buttock in his chair for the the alleged events until they saw the orange dot near the top right-hand hand business bus suit – definitely not black whole party to take this as a cue to flashing blue lights of the police cars. corner? A light being switched d on. rag rags. leave just after 9pm. Someone has had an idea. It could ould She is the sort who finds time to

Friends of the Wilkinsons say this is also be a distress flare from those ose pu publish a recipe book, such as wide of the mark. No significance who are just about managing and Cle Clean Bat Spleen Eating or Quick should be attached to the fact the we’re saying we’ve noticed. an and Easy Eye of Newt Dishes for the dinner party ended at 9.17pm. There Going out on a limb here, but Bus Busy Sorceress. If you happen to see had been a wide-ranging discussion maybe we could have a sort of her in the woods, standing outside a about security (following the break-in jumble of rectangles, like tumbledown cottage, you can be sure at No.47) and education (with scaffolding, representing the she’s overseeing the builders who are particular emphasis on the merits of building works next door are turning it into a cosy weekend retreat. A number of senior Conservatives are suggesting the party needs a new logo to replace the union flag in the shape of a tree. My team of image consultants is on the case, looking for something that shows the party really cares about logos. We dismissed the idea of a ladder. Research suggests

at telegraph.co.uk/ opinion distracting us while we are trying to think up a logo.

Actually, “going out on a limb” is good. We could keep the old tree logo and add a tiny figure perched on an outer branch. So it’s basically saying: “Going out on a limb for the logo Britain deserves.”