British ballet star shares ‘tragedy of midlife crisis’ as she prepares to face final curtain
ONE of the leading lights of British ballet has spoken of her “tragic” midlife crisis as she heads towards her final dance.
Tamara Rojo, the 44-year-old artistic director and lead principal dancer of the English National Ballet, has a Laurence Olivier award, a CBE and plaudits from across the world, but knows that her body will not let her continue at the top for much longer.
Speaking at the Royal Academy’s fes- tival of ideas, Rojo, who was born in Canada, grew up in Spain and calls herself a “Londoner”, said: “I am aware that I am of a certain age and it is coming to an end.
“The final dance is something every dancer thinks about every day.
“I think it is a tragedy. There is no other way of putting it. It is a tragedy because as you become intellectually and emotionally more mature, your body can’t keep up.”
In an hour-long session with broadcaster John Wilson, Rojo described her midlife crisis. “I have no memory of myself where I am not a dancer, so that makes me sometimes wonder who am I when I am not a dancer? What am I if I am not a dancer? It is a midlife crisis. That is what it is. It’s right in your midlife when suddenly, what you are, you no longer are. You look at yourself in the mirror and there is another a person there and you’re like, l OK, who is this person? What W does it mean to be me? What W do I stand for?” Rojo talked t of the support of family famil and friends, but earlier this t year she had to address the controversy caused by b her relationship with another ano ENB dancer, Isaac Hernández, H 28. At the time, anonymous sources said members of the company com were uncom- fortable that Hernández could report back on anything the dancers said or did.
Speaking to the Evening Standard, she said: “All I can say is that we’ve always been honest and I hoped there was no animosity towards us.”
When asked about the 16-year age gap, she said: “He makes me feel lucky. I highly recommend it.”
While still a key member of the ENB, Rojo has spent increasingly more time in her artistic director role, which means she can’t train as much. “I am listening to my body. It is coming fast. In a way it’s a spiral,” she said.
“I feel that I owe it to the audience to give them my best and when I realise I cannot give you my best, or there are other dancers that can do better, then there is no point,” she said.
Rojo will star in Akram Khan’s Dust at Sadler’s Wells Theatre starting next Thursday, and says she doesn’t know exactly when she’ll step off the stage.
“I don’t have a date, but when I do it, I’ll do it quietly. There won’t be a last show or anything.”