‘Who won Strictly?’ and other emergencies

“HELLO – is that the British Embassy? Good. I’ve got some questions about Braveheart …”

Between January and November, the Foreign Office received more than 330,000 calls from British citizens overseas desperate for help.

Some 5,000 had been arrested in a foreign country. Others – around 3,400 – had ended up in hospital. But for some Britons overseas, there were much more pressing issues.

Vampires, Strictly Come Dancing and a Bangkok massage parlour have all featured in the oddest requests made to embassy officials. The Foreign & Com- monwealth Office (FCO) has revealed some of the more unusual appeals for help it has received this year, including a man asking if vampires were in Poland because a woman he was to meet for a date asked for his blood type.

A caller from the US asked which contestant had been voted off Strictly the previous night, someone in the Netherlands had questions about the plot of Braveheart while a man in Argentina requested a list of women who he might be able to marry.

A man in Thailand wanted help as he argued against paying for a massage after falling asleep during it. Talk of the British High Commission in New Delhi selling vegetarian sausages prompted one man to call, and someone in the Canary Islands wanted help persuading his hotel to give him a new room after a stray cat had “broken into” his original one and urinated on his bed.

An FCO spokesman said: “I can regretfully confirm that the Foreign Office isn’t able to offer advice on vampires, rogue stray cats or Strictly contestants. And our capacity to deploy veggie sausages remains sadly lacking.

“But in all seriousness, getting into trouble abroad can be daunting and upsetting. If you find yourself in an emergency in another country, contact the nearest British embassy, High Commission or consulate and our consular staff will do everything they can to help.”