Yann Moix has got it wrong about older women

The au­thor doesn’t know what he’s miss­ing, says Nir­pal Dhali­wal

The Sunday Telegraph - - Features & Arts -

Poor Yann Moix. The French au­thor lives with a “curse” that makes it im­pos­si­ble for him to be at­tracted to women over 50 be­cause their bod­ies, un­like those of a 25-year-old, are “not ex­tra­or­di­nary”. He also won’t date white women be­cause they are “pre­ten­tious, fo­cused on them­selves and con­cen­trat­ing on the prob­lems of lux­ury”. My own ex­pe­ri­ence of older women could not have been more dif­fer­ent. When I was 26 I em­barked on a tor­rid af­fair with a 42-year-old fash­ion mag­a­zine edi­tor that would re­sult in mar­riage and the most sig­nif­i­cant relationship of my life. Prior to that, I had li­aised of­ten with older women, a pro­cliv­ity that be­gan when I was aged just 20 with a Ja­maican di­vorcee who had moved to London after her mar­riage ended ed in New York and rel­ished shed my vigour, in­ces­sant ant tumes­cence and ea­ger­ness to please. e. I loved be­ing the play­thing of older women – all of them pos­sess­ing g ex­tra­or­di­nary bod­ies dies and also “fo­cused on them­selves” – in the he most thrilling way. y. Hav­ing en­dured so much bad sex with men of their own gen­er­a­tion, they were de­ter­mined to get what they re­quired. I be­came some­thing like a pro­tégé, re­ceiv­ing a splen­did ed­u­ca­tion from each. What Moix finds most chal­leng­ing about older women, I sus­pect, is their pre­pared­ness to ex­press dis­sat­is­fac­tion. An in­no­cent blank slate, lack­ing hangups, I was a will­ing stu­dent, ex­hil­a­rated by their en­joy­ment of my ever-im­prov­ing tech­nique. And they were the op­po­site of pre­ten­tious. Hav­ing grown up in a work­ing-class Asian neigh­bour­hood, many of these women, who weren’t from my back­ground, pro­vided an ex­cit­ing ex­pan­sion of my hori­zons – not only sex­u­ally, but cul­tur­ally, so­cially and in­tel­lec­tu­ally, too. I loved savour­ing sybaritic week­ends co­cooned in their beau­ti­ful homes or on high-class hol­i­days. My ex-wife and I fell in love while stay­ing at Gold­en­eye, Ian Flem­ing’s Caribbean es­tate. No 25-yearold could have pro­vided me with such ex­pe­ri­ences. I’m now 44, and over the past decade my re­la­tion­ships have been with women of my gen­er­a­tion, but older women are as at­trac­tive to me as they ever were – un­like many mid­dle-aged men, I don’t pine for twen­tysome­things. The in­tel­li­gence, em­pa­thy, hu­mour and scin­til­lat­ing con­ver­sa­tion of­fered by a woman who has lived is more im­por­tant. Women who don’t ex­cite my mind don’t keep me phys­i­cally phys in­ter­ested. Yet, Ye as I in­creas­ingly think about want­ing to be a father, I find my­self myse at a tragic fork in the road. Do cot I con­tinue to en­joy the de­li­ciously sea­soned s com­pany of o women my own age and older, or do I choose chil­dren c and a life with some­one younger? Ei­ther way, it seems I have to forgo some­thing ex­tremely ext pre­cious, the th ab­sence of o which may haunt hau me for­ever.

I’m at­tracted to the in­tel­li­gence of a woman who has lived

Cursed?: French au­thor hor Yann Moix has caused ed a me­dia storm

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.