The swig statement: what your water bottle says about you
Using a disposable plastic bottle is now social suicide, says so which is the best reusable option?
How do you express your thirst? Don’t look at me like that. The words are actually those of a techy new beaker brand, Kambukka, which has released 70 new “drinking solutions” to the already crowded drinkware market. These bottles are different, they claim: “Snapclean” technology allows you to remove and clean the spout, and thermal material keeps drinks cold for 21 hours, setting them apart from other eco-friendly bottles in an industry that’s now worth a whopping £5.5 billion.
Yet when did hydrating get so complex? Previously, a swig from a crumpled plastic bottle, stuffed into backpacks or stood confidently on desks, was perfectly acceptable. Now that we know there will be more plastic in the sea than fish by 2050 if we don’t cut down on waste, however, bowling around with a disposable plastic bottle is social suicide. We understand that 13 billion are used each year, and only 7.5 billion recycled, so choosing a disposable bottle marks you out as someone who not only ignored the biggest TV trend of 2017, Blue Planet II, but has not considered what the world might look like in years to come.
With a new programme from Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, the campaigning chef, due to address the issue later this month, the backlash against single-use plastic is going nowhere. Eco-friendly bottles are the answer, but which one to choose? Here’s how to make the right statement as you swig:
Office one-upmanship
It doesn’t take long for fashion to pop up at work, and drinkware is the new It-bag. Pretty soon, carrying a freshly bought plastic bottle into work will be the equivalent of pouring the contents of your purse into a Tesco carrier bag and slinging it over your wrist like it’s Chanel. Choose a brand that’s serious, but classy: office politics still apply, and your bottle will say a lot about your style. Vacuuminsulated S’well bottles are a good choice and can be matched to your profession. Architect? Opt for the marble or wood-effect vessels. Soldier? Order the camouflage “roamer”. All are about £40.
High fashionistas
Vivienne Westwood was the first to merge high fashion with H20 with the Clima Bottle, produced in collaboration with 24Bottles. At around £33, it’s cheaper than, well probably anything else Vivienne Westwood, but also raises a serious, zerowaste point. Patterned with a handdrawn map, it shows the effect of climate change on the world should Earth’s temperature rise by 4C (7.2F), according to Nasa, alongside the slogan, “Too fast to live, too young to die”. Sip and intersperse with statements such as the designer’s own: “Global warming is at the tipping point… We have to stop it!” for maximum planet points.
Trendy eco-kids
Children’s birthday parties have changed somewhat, with party bags swapped for eco-bottles printed with their name. Sound mad? Yes, but remember these are aspirational yummy-mummy statements that say more about parent than child. Start with Chilly’s bottles, £25, available in neon and pastel shades, as well as tropical and summery prints, all super fun for kids learning about plastic at school.
Gym junkies
You shouldn’t have to tell people you work out, and now you don’t. Let a Hydro Flask do the talking for you. The go-to brand for gym bunnies and personal trainer-whipped celebs is all about the volume, being “big enough for a whole day in the backcountry”, according to the maker. Also recommended by Blacks and Cotswold Outdoor for adventurers who might be far away from a fresh water source.
Lucy Holden,
A-list name-droppers
“Nice bottle.” “Thanks. It’s the same one Charlize Theron uses, but I’m pretty sure I got it first.” A-list celebrities are all over the bottle craze, with the likes of Julia Roberts and Gisele Bündchen lugging them around Hollywood. Favourite brands vary, with Theron and Reese Witherspoon opting for £22 Bobble bottles in green, blue and white, whereas Bündchen and actress Naomi Watts prefer squat, spiky BKR bottles for about £34. Pre-baby, the Duchess of Sussex was often seen leaving yoga sessions with a mint green Soma bottle (£25); baby Archie will surely make his name as the first
royal eco-sprog in no time.
The freebfreebie
Aka the anti-fashion bottle, which says: “I care, but I just got given this.” It’s the equivalent of finding designer labels in a charity shop and knowing you’re not vain enough to spend 100 times the price for a version with tags. However, do consider the label – if it reveals some unfortunate truths about where you work, bank, shop or holiday, it might be worth a miss.