‘Lockdown’s loo nightmare has left us no choice but to wild wee’
Midlife women caught short are being forced to take desperate measures, says Saska Graville
As the crowds gather at the top of Hampstead Heath, admiring one of the most photogenic views in London, little do they know that just metres away is an altogether less attractive sight.
Behind a convenient clump of bushes, a respectable middle-aged woman is having a “wild wee”.
Readers, that woman is me. And trust me, weeing in public is something that I thoroughly disapprove of. But as the owner of a midlife bladder that needs a loo break every couple of hours, the lockdown closure of public toilets has left me little choice. Not unless I want to stay very close to home for any allowed outing. (Before the outraged comments fly in, I have a strict rule: leave no trace. Drip dry only.)
I’m not alone in this bladder dilemma. In normal times, most midlife women have a repertoire of loo stops that they know and trust, whether it’s a public convenience, a department store or a local pub or café (top tip: a McDonald’s will always have a very clean loo). My favourite loo of choice is always a fancy hotel. Act confidently, walk in as if you’re a guest, and, I promise, no one will stop you.
The root of the problem, for those of us in the perimenopause and menopause years, is our hormones. Declining oestrogen levels cause incontinence issues that range from the mild (a couple of trips to the loo in the night and the need for a “wild wee”) to the debilitating (uncontrolled bladder leakage).
“Being out and about and desperately needing the toilet, or feeling like you can’t hold on, is called Urge Incontinence,” says Dr Shahzadi Harper, a women’s health and menopause doctor. “It can happen to any woman, at any age, but often occurs around the menopause. This is due to declining oestrogen levels, which reduce elasticity in pelvic floor muscles, causing them to weaken, so the bladder is not fully supported.”
Hampstead Heath is not the only place that women are turning to. “I have had stories of patients having to wee in car parks and on clothing in their cars because there is nowhere for them to go with public toilets closed,” says Emma James, a physiotherapist who specialises in women’s pelvic health issues. “Urinary incontinence is common among middle-aged women, with 30-40 per cent of them experiencing it. But just because it’s common, doesn’t mean women have to put up with it. There are things that they can do. It’s about time we talked about how much this affects women’s lives.”
Lockdown Loo-Gate is certainly getting us talking. In a new survey by British femtech brand Pelviva, a device for training the pelvic floor muscles, 64 per cent of women admitted to being anxious about the availability of toilets during lockdown. Not just that, 87 per cent confessed to having an “adventure wee”, ranging from in their parents’ gardens to “in my toddler’s potty”.
“Incontinence or bladder leakage negatively affects women’s confidence and general wellbeing,” says Julia Herbert, consultant physiotherapist and clinical director for Pelviva (Pelviva.com). “This is likely to be an increasing worry at the moment due to the lack of open loo facilities.”
So what’s to be done? “The most effective results are achieved by a combined approach,” says Emma James, who is offering free online pelvic health screenings to help women determine the best course of treatment (Emma.james@ejphysio.co.uk). “Over a 12-week period, strength and conditioning exercises for the abdominals, glutes, adductors and hamstrings, in combination with a pelvic floor trainer, will give fabulous results.”
Not forgetting those clenching pelvic floor exercises, which we all know are good for us, but most of us never do – or don’t know how to do.
“If women did their pelvic floor exercises regularly (the NHS recommends three times daily) it would help improve their bladder leakage,” says Julia Herbert. “However, through no fault of their own, some women just don’t have a very good connection to their pelvic floor, have weak muscles or are exercising the wrong muscles.”
In fact, 73 per cent of those asked by Pelviva knew that pelvic floor exercises could help, but only 31 per cent said they actually did them regularly. Not just me, then.
An alternative is to buy a Shewee. The contraption, which enables women to wee standing up, has reported an increase in sales of 700 per cent in recent weeks.
For me, that’s a step too far, so I’ll have to keep enduring the stress of an anxious crouch. If you spot me – or any other apologetic looking midlife women behind a bush – try not to judge us too harshly. Trust me, we’re as horrified as you are.
‘It’s time we talked about how much this affects women’s lives’