‘I sat in the dark to save money on my energy bill’
Comedian John Robins enjoys doing his tax returns, he tells Genevieve Holl-Allen
John Robins, 40, is a comedian who has appeared on television shows such as Live at the Apollo, Mock the Week and Russell Howard’s Good News. He is also a radio presenter, with a weekly show on BBC5 Live with Elis James.
A former flatmate of fellow comics Russell Howard and Jon Richardson, the award-winning comedian also hosts a range of podcasts, including mental health show How Do You Cope with his
radio co-host.
HOW DID YOUR CHILDHOOD INFLUENCE YOUR ATTITUDE TO MONEY?
I was brought up by a single mum, working two jobs to support me and my sister, and she’s been working two jobs for the past 40-odd years. Her account keeping was meticulous, all in paper, all handwritten, all sorts of cheque books balanced and cheque stubs in the drawers. I remember her golden rule was to have a file for everything, so I’ve always been quite a good bookkeeper.
We didn’t have much money, but her attitude was always to keep it moving around and that if you don’t hold on to money the universe gives back to you a bit more. She was never tight with anyone. I remember she once bought a Lada car from someone and when it finally died she gave it away to a company that trained young offenders how to be mechanics.
WHAT WERE YOUR FIRST JOBS? When I was 13 or 14 I worked as a potwash in a hotel, which is more a form of paid bullying than paid work from various irate chefs. You’re the sort of person that a lot of stuff gets chucked at, whether it’s food or pans. I’m not sure whether you really get away with that now, but it’s a job a lot of people start off with and I was probably earning £2.20 an hour or something like that.
After university, I was drinking too much and I was working in a bookshop, like a lot of English graduates do. I’d messed around with writing comedy sketch ideas and scripts in a little notebook and I saw an ad in the local press for an open mic comedy night. I stopped drinking and went down to do 10 minutes and that was it really, I was hooked. I quit my job, I think, four months after that, and that’s the last job I ever had. Kind of mad, really.
ARE YOU A SAVER OR A SPENDER? I try to be as generous as possible with friends and family, but I’m perhaps learning to be a bit more generous with myself. I recently took part in my energy company’s saving session and I sat in the dark for an hour. I got an email the next day to say I didn’t save any energy because I use so little anyway. Maybe it’s time, John, to just leave a light on, for goodness’ sake.
I can honestly say I have no extravagances in my life. However, I am increasingly of the mind that money is best used when it can relieve stress.
So if that’s getting a cab when the trains are an absolute nightmare, or getting a hotel when travelling back would affect your mental health or whatever, that’s the sort of thing that I will spend on now.
Before, I would have been waiting on a platform in the morning for the five o’clock train for the sake of saving £40 or whatever.
DID YOU EVER STRUGGLE FINANCIALLY IN COMEDY? When I realised, because I’d quit my job quite early on, that this had to be a career and it had to work because I didn’t have any money to fall back on, I made sure the first thing I did was to go to HMRC to do this two-day course on how to be self-employed.
I went to one of those and I was filling in tax returns and making a loss. I would spend about £5,000 on petrol and earn £2,000 that year so I would fill in my tax return for my £3,000 loss. I got into the habit of doing that, and that was really important. I was lucky to find tax interesting. It allowed me to see my work as a viable business.
I always approached it like that even when I wasn’t earning anything.
WHAT WAS LIFE LIKE AS A FLEDGLING COMIC LIVING WITH FELLOW COMEDIANS?
It was relentless. I mean, the phrase “banter” has been tarnished by idiots, but it was relentless good comic banter that was training for how to be funny all the time. It was, in a really nice way, quite competitive in and around the flat. Also it was incredible in terms of learning how the industry works, working out how you get paid to do this.
As someone coming into that flat who’s completely earning nothing, doing unpaid 10-minute spots, to be in a place with Jon Richardson, who was getting openings, 20-minute gigs and compering, and Russell Howard, who was headlining, suddenly I could see all the rungs above me.
I think some people end up doing the same thing again and again and going around in circles, whereas I always had this example of how to progress that was really useful for me.
WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR MOST LUCRATIVE PROJECT?
To be completely honest, it wouldn’t be one individual project, it would be doing the radio show with Elis [James]. Even though when we started doing it we weren’t getting paid a great deal, building that audience has been the best business decision. Even that wasn’t a decision, it just happened unexpectedly.
Building that audience has meant that we can now do stuff like touring or launching a new podcast and knowing people will listen to it.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO HAVE A STAND-UP SHOW ON NETFLIX? I filmed a special of my show, The Darkness of Robins, for the BBC, and that then ended up on Netflix.
I didn’t realise my show was there until people started tweeting me saying: ‘Oh, your show’s on Netflix.’ It’s remarkable how that kind of stuff can happen. It was a complete surprise to me, I had absolutely nothing to do with getting it there.
BBC Worldwide owned the rights and I think what happened is they had sold a package of shows and somehow there was a miscommunication where the people involved in that package didn’t know.
It wasn’t just me, I don’t know how many there were, it could have been six, it could have been 20, it could have been 100.
That was kind of nuts, for people to be able to see my show.
HAVE YOU INVESTED IN PROPERTY?
I bought a house with my ex-girlfriend six years ago, and that relationship ended and I had to buy her out, which was very difficult. But because we communicated with each other in a very kind way that process was less difficult than it could have been.
It could have been catastrophic and I think a good rule for people who find themselves in situations like that is trying to be kind in all your interactions as much as possible, but I know that it is not always possible.
The mad thing is I wouldn’t be able to afford this house even now, not because the house is stupidly expensive but because buying a house on your own is pretty much impossible.
DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? I’ve got my Queen shelf. I’ve got quite a small house, so there’s a limit to the amount of Freddie Mercury mannequins you can have. I think probably the only item I have that’s of real value Queen-wise is a gilt Brian May guitar copy, which he’s signed. That’s probably worth about £2,000 or £3,000.
I didn’t meet him at the time, this was in 1998. I took it backstage at Colston Hall in Bristol and a security guard took it to him.