‘As a Conservative comic I was seen as a novelty’
Geoff Norcott tells York Membery why Lefties don’t have a monopoly on laughs
Geoff Norcott is a comedian, writer and political commentator. The 46-year-old Conservative-supporting funnyman, who grew up in south London, is one of Britain’s leading stand-ups and has appeared on television shows such as Mock the Week, The Mash Report and Question Time.
The Brexit-supporting comic, who now lives with his wife and son in a Cambridgeshire village, was also awarded an Operational Service Medal for five frontline tours supporting British troops in Afghanistan.
He was listed among the website Conservative Home’s “Top 100 Most Influential People on the Conservative Right”.
HOW DID YOUR START IN LIFE AFFECT YOUR OUTLOOK ON MONEY? When I was aged nine my mum divorced my trade-unionist dad and we moved into a council place in Mitcham, south London. So, we had a bit of money and then suddenly we didn’t. I’m always on the lookout for the next potential calamity.
DID YOU RECEIVE POCKET MONEY? My older sister petitioned my dad before the divorce to raise our pocket money. He doubled it from 50p to £1. I was obsessed with Star Wars – and still am – so saved up to buy Star Wars figures. Ever since then, I’ve never had a problem asking for a bit more money.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST PROPER JOB?
I worked in advertising sales after university in the late 1990s. It didn’t pay loads but there were a lot of free events involving a good drink. However, after a couple of years I retrained to be an English teacher and did that for several years in the 2000s. What was the money like? I just remember that me and my wife were both working fulltime but still felt poor.
WHAT DID YOU GET PAID FOR YOUR FIRST STAND-UP GIG?
I started doing stand-up while still teaching and the first gig I remember doing was in Manchester in 2002. I got £40 for doing a 10-minute stand-up spot, although I probably spent close to that on petrol, even then, getting there and home. That gig went alright but I died a death on stage a few months later in Brighton and ended up getting booed off – that was brutal. Dying on stage is a bit like crashing and burning when you ask a woman out and she turns you down, but a whole lot worse.
WHAT WAS YOUR BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT?
When the Jongleurs comedy club chain asked me for my weekend availability in 2007, which meant that I could carry on as a professional comic and guarantee earning decent money for the next three months. A good stand-up who was working the circuit back then could make the same in a year as a deputy head teacher.
WAS YOUR FIRST TELEVISION APPEARANCE A BIG MOMENT TOO? Unusually for a comic, it was on BBC One’s Question Time in 2017 – I think because a comedian like me who voted Conservative was regarded as a novelty. You have to tread a fine line as a comic on such a programme though. You can’t just crack a load of jokes like: ‘What do you call three Liberal Democrats in a bath? All of them!’ However, at the same time, if you don’t show a bit of humour people think, “He calls himself a comedian?” ... that appearance undoubtedly paved the way for me going on other television shows.
WHAT WORK HAS BEEN YOUR MOST LUCRATIVE SO FAR? Probably my television writing work on shows like Have I Got News for You – because unless you are in the big leagues of comedy you’re only going to appear on a television panel show every now and then. However, my stand-up tours are also important financially, as are the corporate gigs. The fees for these are usually in the region of four or five figures.
DID YOU EXPERIENCE ANY LEAN TIMES IN YOUR EARLY DAYS?
I only turned full-time as a comedian when I was pretty sure that it was going to work out. For a long time I juggled my stand-up work with being a supply teacher because I’m very risk averse. In my early years as a stand-up I’d be doing two or three gigs a week and driving 50,000 miles a year, which probably explains why I once fell asleep in the classroom.
ARE LEFT-WING COMEDIANS A BIT STANDOFFISH WITH YOU? There’s actually a lot of respect among fellow comedians, regardless of their politics. I’d love to be able to tell you that Left-wing comedians excommunicated me in the green room, and I was forced to eat on my own. However, the truth is that they are all pretty cool about my political views. Like a lot of Conservative voters, I’m a bit disillusioned with the way politics is going right now. But, do I want to rejoin the huge, opaque institution that is the European Union? The answer is no.
HAS THE COMEDY BUSINESS CHANGED SINCE YOU STARTED OUT, AND, IF SO, HOW? Enormously. I think today’s comics are the hardest-working generation ever. When I started out a lot of stand-ups were doing the same 20-minute set night after night – but today’s young comics are having to put up clips on YouTube, make sure they get lots of likes and refresh their stage set every couple of days. Audiences heckle a lot less than they did in the bear-pit style days of the past too.
WHAT’S BEEN YOUR BEST INVESTMENT OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE? I’ve had loads of problems with my manky feet and while I never wanted to spend 40 quid on a pair of shoes, I now wear Hoka trainers, which cost £160 a pair. It pains me every time I buy them but they seem to have resolved my foot problems and they are worth the money. They’ve also given me a bit of a Tom Cruise-style lift height-wise. I’m a good inch taller when I wear them, which is no bad thing.
DO YOU OWN A PROPERTY?
My wife and I bought our first property, a two-up, two-down, in St Neots, Cambridgeshire, for about £118,000 in the 2000s. We’ve since traded up a couple of times and now live in a townhouse in a village in the same county. I always buy new-builds because I don’t want to do anything to a place when I move in.
ARE YOU A SPENDER OR A SAVER? I worry a lot about money and run around turning off lights but the moment I have some money I turn on the taps.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST INDULGENCE?
I’ve got a bit of that working-class chippiness so I like staying in posh hotels even though I sometimes get a look saying: “Are you sure you’re staying here and not in the Travelodge down the road?” I want to reply: “My money’s as good as yours.” The most I’ve paid was for a night at a top West End hotel. It was top draw but cost us £700.
WHAT WAS YOUR WORST FINANCIAL DECISION?
I’ve spent a good few grand on vinyl but most of my obscure techno and trance records are in storage in the loft, so I’m not sure if they’ve been a great investment.
DO YOU DONATE TO CHARITY? I don’t have any standing orders but when bad things happen, like the recent earthquakes in Turkey, of course you dip into your pocket. Even my sevenyear-old son was so touched by the plight of the quake survivors that he donated a fiver.
Geoff Norcott’s latest national live tour, ‘Basic Bloke’, runs from Sept 6 this year to April 27 2024 (geoffnorcott.co.uk)