‘I still make £20k a year from writing Vindaloo’
Robin Hood was lucrative, but actor Keith Allen is still getting royalties from the World Cup song he co-wrote. By John Wright
K‘I won £15,000 and went out and bought a Jaguar XJ6 for cash. I got lucky. I’ve never really played poker before’
eith Allen, 70, is an actor, writer and television presenter who found fame in the 1980s with comedy roles and writing. He co-wrote the World Cup-inspired songs World in Motion by New Order and Vindaloo by Fat Les, and has starred in series such as Robin Hood. He lives near Stroud in Gloucestershire with his partner and daughter.
HOW DID YOUR CHILDHOOD INFLUENCE YOUR ATTITUDE TO MONEY?
I don’t think it did. It was only when I was older that I ever thought about money. My parents were very much of the generation that never divulged their voting habits or how much they earned.
I grew up all over the world. My father was a submariner in the Navy; my mother was a waitress. I spent a lot of my childhood in Malta then Singapore, a bit in Australia then back in England and Wales.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?
My first job was as an apprentice lithographic silk-screen printer. Then I left that and became a roadie with Geno Washington’s Ram Jam Band, then Jimmy James and the Vagabonds, then Jon Hiseman’s Colosseum and Alan Price – all under the age of 15 and a half – well, 15 and three quarters. I ran away from home. They reported me as a missing person, and then I was in young offenders institutions in need of care and protection. My parents, bless their hearts, spent most of my childhood worrying about where I was.
When I lived with my nan in 1969, for my first job as a hand silk-screen printer, I got £3, 17 shillings and sixpence [about £50 today] a week and gave my nana £3 for board and lodging, and was left with 17 shillings and sixpence.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOMENT YOU KNEW ACTING WOULD BE YOUR FUTURE?
I fell into acting just by a series of events. I’d been to drama college; I left before the end and didn’t intend to become an actor. I was a hand silkscreen printer. Then I became a stage manager at the ICA [Institute of Con- temporary Arts, London] and then the Comedy Store opened. I became a stand-up comic.
Then Channel 4 started and I became a presenter for a television show. I started writing sketches and met Peter Richardson and we wrote episodes for
The Comic Strip Presents…, which I was in, so I was acting by default really. Stephen Frears, who lived next door but one, offered me to be in the first film ever made for Channel 4. So suddenly I’d become an actor at about 30.
WHAT HAVE BEEN YOUR BEST AND WORST FINANCIAL DECISIONS?
One which was both. When I was doing Robin Hood [BBC drama series, 200609] out in Budapest we’d done three series and I was getting paid a hell of a lot. For once in my life, I was being mature and grown up and thought I must do something with this money.
I knew there were new film studios being built in Budapest because the cost of studio filming in America was very expensive, and that a lot of American movies were slated to be made in Budapest. So I bought a penthouse flat in the centre of Budapest, and poured a load of money into it for big name American actors or directors to stay in. You could rent it out for a hell of a lot.
I was sitting pretty; the work was going ahead. They put a new concrete floor in, gutted the inside ready for the interior to be designed. Then they pulled the fourth series and poured all their money into a thing called Merlin.
So I was left with this shell which wouldn’t have been a problem, except it coincided with the financial institutions collapsing in 2008. I was left with this property I’d bought and developed that cost me £180,000 which I had to sell at a loss, because I had no money.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD TROUBLE PAYING YOUR BILLS?
Never. I’ve never been in debt and never had a credit card. Cash rules in my life. I was talking to a friend of mine, a successful businessman, and he has the same view as me, which is once you’ve spent money it’s gone. For example, if I buy a car for five grand and two years later sell it for three grand, I don’t think I’ve lost two grand, I think I’ve made three grand – I’ve already forgotten the five grand. I don’t see anything as an investment, really.
DOES MONEY MAKE YOU HAPPY?
That’s an interesting question because I’ve spent a large slice of my life with no money and no savings, and it’s never bothered me, because I’ve always done something. So long as I can put food on the table. My only concern now is I’ve got a mortgage. But even if I’m not acting I can always earn money.
HAVE YOU DONE LUCRATIVE TELEVISION ADVERTISEMENTS?
I did one 25 years ago. I was the Listerine tooth fairy and got paid £100,000 [£182,000 today]. I spent two days on a harness flying around a studio.
WHAT IS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER BOUGHT?
I think my Atco ride-on lawnmower is one of the best things.
It’s an old-fashioned one: you sit on the back of a roller. It’s a beautiful old piece of machinery. I get excited by that kind of thing.
HAVE YOU SPLASHED OUT?
In about 2004 I co-won with Clive Sinclair the first ever recorded poker tournament in this country on Challenge television. I won £15,000 and had it in a bag, and I went out and bought a Jaguar XJ6 for cash for £5,000. I never usually spend more than £2,000-2,500 on a car anyway. I just got lucky: I’ve never really played poker before.
HAS YOUR CAREER BEEN HELPED OR HINDERED BY UNLIKELY SOURCES?
I think my career was hindered by my joyful years in the Groucho Club in London. Because I was having such a lot of fun, and the club was peopled by the people that were going to employ me, like actors and producers, I think this gibbering idiot wandering around the club p----- wasn’t a particularly good signal to send. But I’ve been lucky in other instances. I’ve always been in the right place at the right time.
WHAT WERE YOU PAID FOR YOUR PART IN THE COMIC STRIP FILM SUPERGRASS [IN 1985]?
Oh God nothing. You didn’t earn money in those days, probably about £2,000£3,000.
WHAT’S THE MOST YOU’VE MADE FROM TELEVISION OR FILM WORK?
I can’t tell you that. I got paid a lot of money for Robin Hood.
DO YOU STILL GET ROYALTIES FOR YOUR INVOLVEMENT WITH FOOTBALL-RELATED RECORDS?
Oh God, yeah, a lot, probably about £20,000 a year. I mean, I get more money from Vindaloo [1998 hit by Fat Les] than a lot of things. I’m always earning money off Vindaloo. The song gets used for all sorts of things and various campaigns. In fact, it’s going to be used for one for Deliveroo. Guy Pratt played bass on it and he’s earned more money from Vindaloo than anything he’s ever done with Pink Floyd.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN RIPPED OFF?
Only when buying drugs, but you don’t want to be printing that.
Keith Allen stars in La Cha Cha, on digital platforms March 25 (iTunes, Sky, Amazon, Google)