I’ll never for­get what’s-his-name

THE (Times Higher Education) - - THE POPPLETONIAN -

“Your lec­tures give ditch­wa­ter a bad name.”

“You al­ways yawn be­fore you speak. The rea­son for the yawn is only ap­par­ent when one hears what you have to say.”

“Half­way through your last lec­ture, I heard a faint re­cur­rent sound. Yes, it was paint dry­ing.” These were just some of neg­a­tive com­ments con­tained in a re­cent stu­dent as­sess­ment of Pro­fes­sor Lap­ping’s sec­ond-year Me­dia and Cultural Stud­ies course,

“Step­ping Back­wards: Gen­der Stereo­typ­ing in Come Danc­ing”.

De­spite the ev­i­dently neg­a­tive na­ture of these com­ments, Pro­fes­sor Lap­ping said that he was far from be­ing dis­com­fited.

“Although such com­ments are made anony­mously, I com­pletely subscribe to the re­cent dec­la­ra­tion by Dar­ren Reid, lec­turer in his­tory at Coven­try Univer­sity, that it is fairly easy to work out who was re­spon­si­ble by check­ing their con­sis­tency with the speak­ing pat­terns and opin­ions of known stu­dents.

“In this case,” con­tin­ued Pro­fes­sor Lap­ping, “it is clear

that all those neg­a­tive com­ments are the work of a sin­gle sec­ondyear un­der­grad­u­ate.”

Was Pro­fes­sor Lap­ping pre­pared to name his critic?

“That would be most unfair. Although, as Dr Reid makes clear, anonymity is dif­fi­cult to pre­serve in the cur­rent stu­dent feed­back sys­tem, it is surely an ideal to which we must all subscribe. So suf­fice it to say that my stu­dent critic is a red­haired ma­lin­ger­ing male know-noth­ing with a Jay-Z T-shirt, a pos­si­ble drug habit and bad eczema. Fur­ther than that, I’m not pre­pared to go.”

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