Laurie Taylor’s Fourth Degree
Students in Teesside University’s computing school are convinced that Santa Claus really does exist, Fourth Degree can reveal.
“It was quite incredible,” said one student. “There we were, sitting around expecting the usual gifts – an upper second here, a lower second there – when, to our surprise, we opened our parcels and discovered that we had all been given firsts.”
One student who had been moved up from a third to a starred first told Fourth Degree: “Of course, one could take the cynical view that Teesside was simply trying to boost its ratings in the domestic league tables by handing out higher marks and then justifying the move with an egregious official statement about the previous marks having been ‘out of kilter with the sector’. But at this time of year, it’s surely more appropriate to believe that this happy outcome was prompted by the spirit of Christmas.”
As we went to press, Santa Claus was unavailable for comment, but a local resident reported seeing reindeer flying over the university’s famous Middlesbrough Tower.