IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

A German man who forgot where he parked his car has been reunited with the vehicle – 20 years later. The unnamed man reported his vehicle lost in Frankfurt in 1997; it was found when the garage in which he’d parked it was due to be demolished, and the builders needed the car to be moved. The police tracked the owner down, but when the 76-year-old came to collect his car, he couldn’t get it to start.

A council that invited the public to name its new gritting lorries is now the proud owner of the Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-slip Machiney and David Plowie. More than 40,000 people voted in the poll, run by Doncaster Council. Members of a US navy air crew have been grounded for using an advanced fighter jet to draw a penis in the sky above Washington state. On social media, some residents of the small city of Omak joked about the prank – but the navy said it offended its “core values”, and issued an apology. “Sophomoric and immature antics of a sexual nature have no place in naval aviation today,” said Vice-admiral Mike Shoemaker, the commander of naval air forces.

A Japanese railway company felt obliged to issue an apology this month, after one of its trains left 20 seconds early. In a statement, the managers of the Tsukuba Express admitted that a morning train on the Tokyo line had left at 9:44:20, instead of the scheduled 9:44:40. No passengers had complained about the early departure, however, which was blamed on the crew not checking the departure time.