IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

A Japanese man has been charged with stealing more than 70 pairs of shoes that he allegedly sniffed for his own “sexual pleasure”. Makoto Endo, 40, is on trial for the theft of shoes worth about £2,100 in Tochigi and Saitama, eastern Japan. Police found the shoes after raiding his house last September. Endo reportedly told police officers: “I did it to get pleasure by sniffing the smell of well-worn shoes, regardless of their owners being men or women.”

Marks & Spencer announced the launch of a new product for Valentine’s Day: the “Love Sausage” , a “heartshaped, lightly truffled” pork sausage wrapped in bacon. The retailer described the sausage, which costs £5, as the “ultimate meaty delight for Valentine’s breakfast in bed”. Not to be outdone, Morrison’s responded with its own Sweetheart Steaks: slabs of heart-shaped meat that are “the perfect Valentine’s Day food for customers that are looking to impress”. A police department in Pennsylvania received an enthusiastic response after seeking volunteers “willing to drink hard liquor to the point of inebriation”. Kutztown Borough Police Department posted an advert inviting locals to help train officers in how to conduct field sobriety tests; free alcohol would be provided. Soon after, the ad was changed to say: “THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR INTEREST IN HELPING US OUT! WE HAVE HAD AN OVERWHELMING RESPONSE FOR THIS AND AT THIS POINT WE HAVE ENOUGH VOLUNTEERS FOR THIS TRAINING!”