IT MUST BE TRUE… I read it in the tabloids

Armed police swooped on a park in Cardiff after a cloaked man dressed as a medieval knight was seen wielding a 3ft sword. Lennon Thomas, 20, was confronted at gunpoint and ordered to put the weapon down, before explaining that he was simply trying out a costume he uses for his hobby of fantasy roleplay. Thomas apologised for a “lapse in judgement”, saying: “Perhaps it was a little stupid of me to bring the sword, as from a distance it does look realistic.” He added: “Life is a lot more fun when you don’t care how weird you are.”

A South Korean football club has had to apologise after the “mannequins” it used as substitute fans while playing behind closed doors turned out to be sex dolls. FC Seoul dotted its stadium with the figures – only realising its error when fans pointed out that they looked like sex toys, and that some were holding posters advertising adult websites. The club said it was “deeply sorry” for the mix-up, adding: “We will think hard about what we need to do to ensure that something like this never happens again.”

Police in Louisiana are looking for an “aggressive chicken” that is terrorising bank customers. Walker Police Department issued a warning urging residents to be on the lookout for “a reddish-tan chicken” that had attacked people at an ATM. Police said the fowl was wanted on charges including “assault, attempted battery, attempted burglary, [and] terrorising”. The public was warned not to approach the chicken, which police noted has “a history of aggressive behaviour”.