IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

When a French pensioner noticed a blue jacket hanging on a wall in Paris’s Picasso Museum, she assumed it had been abandoned. The 72-yearold duly took it home, tried it on, and – finding it was a bit long – asked her tailor to alter it. A few days later, she returned to the exhibition, and was promptly arrested. It turned out the garment was actually a contemporary work by the Spanish artist Oriol Vilanova, and a “little old lady” had been identified on CCTV as its thief. When she explained her mistake, she was let off with a warning, and the work of art was restored to its peg.

A billionaire from the United Arab Emirates has built the world’s biggest Hummer – a two storey vehicle complete with a toilet and a sink. Sheikh Hamad bin Hamdan Al Nahyan’s Hummer H1 X3 is 46ft long, 20ft wide and 21.6ft tall, and runs on four engines. According to the Sheikh’s Sharjah Off Road History Museum, it is “three times bigger than a normal Hummer H1 by scale and 27 times by volume”. Its top speed, however, is a rather paltry 19mph.

A Sydney restaurant whose USP is “rude waiters with non-existent manners” is now expanding worldwide. Waiting staff at Karen’s Diner – named after the pejorative term for a demanding middle aged white woman – are instructed to insult and ridicule their customers. “Great food, terrible service” is the diner’s motto. One punter said that a waiter threw her party’s menus at them and mocked her daughter’s hair. It was good fun, she said, but, “I’d hate to walk in there blind, not knowing what it was about.”