IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

Large groups of smartly dressed young men are descending on screenings of the children’s animation Minions: The Rise of Gru. The trend started on TikTok among teenagers who grew up with the Minions films. It involves wearing a formal suit in homage to the hero’s loveable villain, Gru, and copying his signature hand gesture. Participants call themselves Gentleminions, after Gru’s yellow servants – and they can be rowdy. “We are currently not admitting unaccompanied children wearing suits for Minions: The Rise of Gru,” declared the Regal cinema in Wadebridge in Cornwall, citing “issues” with “associated behaviour”.

A martial art called “carjitsu” is taking Russian social media by storm. The rules are similar to ju-jitsu’s: two rounds of three minutes each, and the aim is to make your rival “submit”, or gain advantageous positions to score points. But there’s a key difference: fighters go head-to-head within the confines of a car. Videos of this “competitive grappling in vehicles” have been viewed thousands of times online.

Geese on Ullswater in the Lake District are being pulled underwater to their deaths by unseen forces. Wayne Owens, from Howton, said he’d seen a number of geese dragged backwards “at speed”, then disappear; he thinks a crocodile may be on the loose. Other witnesses have seen geese suffer a similar fate. Experts suggested the most likely culprit was a catfish, an otter or a pike – but the Lake District National Park Authority has promised to “keep an eye” out in case it’s something more sinister.