Rules for living in Wokingham

RULE 1 – All roads leading into Wokingham Town centre will have at least two roadworks on them. Very occasionally, workers will be found actually working. Traffic grinds to a halt.

RULE 2 – Green fields near your house will quickly be built over, removing open spaces for walking and recreation.

RULE 3 – Wokingham is regularly voted one of England’s best places to live. Oddly, most voters are British Gas or Southern Electricity engineers, or property developers.

RULE 4 – Some potholes, after rain, are deep enough for small children to paddle in. They are not in danger from fast moving traffic (see Rule 1)

RULE 5 – If you will live in Lower Earley, part of Wokingham constituency and once the biggest housing development in Europe, you will still find it has no public transport links to Wokingham.

RULE 6 – Local councillors, tasked with sorting this out, seem to spend an awful lot of time writing mildly insulting letters to each other through the letter pages of the local paper. Michael Strutt, via email