‘I’M A MEMBER OF BEEF’S GOLF CLUB. JOIN ME!’
Having a conversation about golf with someone who doesn’t play the game can be incredibly brief. Person A: “So, how was golf today?” Person B: “Started OK but short-sided myself on the 6th and chipped into the bunker. Should have taken a 60° but bottled it and knifed my sand wedge through the green so ended up with a triple. Then, on the 12th... ”
Person A: (Leaves room.) Despite talking for a living, I’m limited to how often I get to talk about golf. I try where I can, but eyes glaze over, phones get checked mid conversation and laughter inevitably runs dry. And (joke incoming) that’s just in the clubhouse!
So you can imagine my delight when I got a call and it went something like this.
“Hi John, we’re launching a new golf podcast and I wondered...” “Yes!”
“But I haven’t...”
“It’s a yes!”
And so it was that within a week I found myself talking about golf with someone who was not simply tolerating my anecdotes, but actively encouraging them. And that person was none other than bearded hero of The 2016 Open, Beef Johnston!
That’s right, a new golf podcast has been born and I’ve got the best seat in the house! In Beef ’s Golf Club, Andrew Johnston and I talk all things golf, while creating the perfect golf club with the help of our listeners. We deal with the really important stuff, like what beers you’d want in the clubhouse and whether we should ban creepy portraits of former captains.
We’ve recorded five episodes so far and by the time you read this it will have launched, so check it out.
It’s been an absolute dream to spend so much time chatting to Beef. He’s one of the nicest guys I’ve met, and learning about each other’s golfing life has been really funny.
We’re light years away from each other in terms of skill and experience (I’ve never even played with a caddie, for example, so finding out how much they really drink after a round is as close as I’ll get). But even though our experience of golf is worlds apart (he will never know the thrill of finding a brandnew Srixon among the range balls and pocketing it), our love of the game is no different.
So far the dream golf club we’re creating is in its early stages, but it has two courses. The Fillet is a championship course and potential Ryder Cup venue, if you ask me. And The Mince is a municipal course where so much of it is GUR that we actually pay you to play it!
But it has got me thinking about what I look for in a golf club. And the responses we’ve had from people on social media throw up a common theme: it should be welcoming and inclusive (well, that was second to ‘free beer’, but we’ve got to cover our costs).
Most golfers would far rather be made to feel at home at a golf course than know everyone has their shirt tucked in or is wearing the right kind of shoes in the right rooms – I’ve spoken before about how golf needs to change to attract the next generation and retain those who gave it a go in various lockdowns.
One of the most baffling things we’ve discussed is how can there be so much fuss about wearing caps indoors WHEN EVERY PROFESSIONAL GOLFER YOU EVER SEE IS WEARING A CAP?! If you tell off a junior golfer for wearing a cap in the clubhouse, it’s easy to see why they might not only be put off returning but completely baffled to boot. Rest assured, caps are allowed in Beef’s Golf Club.
I can’t deny that the midhandicapper in me is desperate to exploit this pairing for all the free Pro V1s and Pro-am invites he can wangle, but that might have to wait until Beef is back on tour (he’s had a very annoying thumb injury for a while now and is only recently back to hitting balls). For now, the tour’s loss is audio’s gain.
Anyone who’s watched Beef on Youtube or seen interviews with him will know he’s the most down to earth person you could ever hope to meet. It’s like your friend who’s a right laugh just happens to play off +5 and hang out with Tiger Woods and Mark Wahlberg.
So expect to be hearing from us regularly! You can send us your suggestions for your dream golf club, clubhouse commandments you’d like to see etched in stone, or any questions you have for Beef about life as a tour pro to beef@ crowdnetwork.co.uk. And be sure to follow us on @Beefsgolfclub on twitter and instagram. We might even send you a free ball or two!