‘A FAN ONCE OPENED HER BLOUSE AND ASKED IF I’D SIGN HER BREASTS’

What’s your funniest pro-am story?

When a guy came up to introduce himself at Bay Hill and said, “How do you grip the club?” I was like, “Oh, are you having problems with your grip?” To which he replied, “No, no, you don’t understand. I’ve never played the game before, show me how to hold the club!”

What was your first car and what do you drive now?

My first car was a yellow Ford Escort that I bought with my own money. Now, I’ve been with Mercedes for many years, and I’m driving a GLS 63.

When was the last time you broke a golf club?

I haven’t broken one that I can remember, but I once threw a club and that stopped me ever doing it again. I was an assistant pro in Munich and I was probably 17. I h*ad just three-putted and I got so mad I started throwing it down the fairway. But the putter didn’t release because my glove was a bit sticky and as I turned my body around, the putter was flying at my two best friends at waist height. Luckily it went right between them and missed them by a couple of inches.

Is it true you once asked your caddie if the yardage was from the front or back of a sprinkler head?

False. That story came from the 1991 Ryder Cup (at Kiawah Island) when I was paired with Monty. We were just kidding around, he was making fun about how precise I am with yardages, and the story just got bigger and bigger.

What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever been left in your locker?

One time I had a note saying we took a dozen of your golf balls to test them. I thought that was pretty crazy. I was playing a driver and golf ball which helped me gain, like, 20 yards, which had never happened before in my life. My playing competitors had been joking, saying I was playing a souped-up golf ball.

What’s the coolest piece of golfing memorabilia you own?

When I was introduced to golf as a caddie, we had four clubs with bamboo shafts and I still have them. There’s a 2-wood persimmon, 3-iron, 7-iron with a bent shaft, and a putter with a bent shaft. I think that’s pretty unique.

Who’s the most famous person in your phonebook?

It would probably be Donald Trump.

Who was the greatest Ryder Cup captain you played under?

Tony Jacklin.

If you could bring back one defunct tournament on the DP World Tour, which would it be?

The World Match Play at Wentworth.

Where’s your favourite city to play golf, and which courses would you recommend we visit there?

Melbourne is a great city to play golf. They have some of the best-conditioned golf courses in the world. There’s about five of them, all within a short driving distance. One is called Huntingdale, another one is Royal Melbourne, where they had the Presidents Cup.

What’s the most outrageous autograph request you’ve ever received?

Will you sign my breasts? She was obviously drunk, opened her blouse up and out popped her breasts. I was like, “I’m not doing that!” (laughs).

Where would you like to see the Ryder Cup staged next?

We tried to get it to come to Germany several years ago and I was extremely disappointed when that didn’t happen. Spain got it because of Seve I think, but I think Germany deserved it as much as France or Italy.

Speaking of Seve, what’s your favourite story about him?

One time we were on the putting green at Sunningdale in 1980. He asked what I was putting with. I handed him my putter, he hit three putts and then gave it back to me and walked away. I was like, “Hold on, Seve, what do you think?” He said, “It’s too light and not enough loft”. He had already won Majors and I was just an up-and-coming pro, so I immediately went to the pro shop and got a new putter. And I finished third-second-first in the next three weeks!