EXTREMELY SLOW SPORTS CARS

01 DeLorean

A truly rubbish joint venture V6 designed by Peugeot, Renault and Volvo, the DeLorean’s 2.8-litre motor generated just 130bhp. It should’ve been mid-engined with a lustier Ford V6, but the weighty American motor wouldn’t fit in the engine bay. Whoops.

02 Smart Roadster

Powered by a 0.7-litre turbocharged 3cyl engine that tickled the rear tyres with just 81bhp, the Roadster was then diluted by a painfully slow automated manual gearbox with ‘F1 style’ sequential shifting that had as much F1 pedigree as a can of Rich Energy drink.

03 Ferrari 208 GTB

In 1980 Ferrari decided to pull a fast one on the Italian tax authorities, who’d decided to double the duty paid on cars with engines larger than 2,000cc. The engineers slung a de-bored version of their Tipo V8 in, creating a 1,990cc supercar good for a mere 133mph.

04 Porsche 914

Back in the Sixties, Volkswagen and Porsche planned to launch a co-developed roadster. Porsche then got cold feet about selling a badge-engineered VW, but did nothing about the 914’s naff performance. It had just 80bhp, taking 13.3secs to get from 0–62mph.

05 Chevrolet Corvette C3 ‘California’

Chevy simply gave up trying to get its big-block V8 engines to comply with California’s strict emissions laws in 1980, and just bunged in a smaller, strangled motor and three-speed auto instead. From a mighty 5.0 litres, the sunshine state’s ’Vette could muster just 180bhp.

06 Toyota GT86/Subaru BRZ

Here to prove not all great sports cars are fast, the 197bhp Toyobaru was never a straight-line weapon. Subaru insisted on a flat-four engine, with both companies shunning turbocharging for crisp throttle response. A modern example of the old-school mantra that power isn’t everything.

07 MG Midget

When the MG Midget arrived on the scene around the same time as The Beatles in the summer of 1961, it made do with a 46bhp 1.0-litre engine. Early tests indicated that the Midget had a top speed of around 88mph, with 0–60mph taking a glacial 18.3 seconds.

08 Pontiac Fiero

America’s first mid-engined sports car, the basic Fiero got sullied with a 10.7secs 0–60 sprint and a 17secs quarter-mile time, courtesy of a 2.5-litre 4cyl engine with 190bhp, which would then promptly shove a rod through the engine block, leak oil over the exhaust, and barbecue itself.

09 AC Ace

By the standards of the early Fifties, the Ace was hardly embarrassed by taking 11.4 seconds to get from 0–60mph, but by 1964 Carroll Shelby was merrily dropping in 7.0-litre V8s churning out 425bhp, moprhing the twee Ace into the record-breaking 180mph Cobra.