THE MIDDLE LANE

We all ignore car alarms, says TGTV script editor Sam Philip. But what if your car could text instead?

“Car alarms can help to deter thieves. However, owners may ignore the alarm, not realising it is from their car. Now Ford’s SecuriAlert sends a notification to the owner’s smartphone if it identifies any vehicle activity, including attempts to open doors or gain access with a key...” FORD PRESS RELEASE, JUNE 2021

u awake?

Well I am now. What’s up? bein broken into :(

You’re being broken into? ya :(

Who by? remember howard from take that? You’re being broken into by Howard from Take That? no i’m bein broken into by someone who looks like howard from take that. help pls Is he a big guy? no. smaller than me

You’re a car. Bigger than me? much bigger

Right and much stronger :p

Um OK. Have you tried sounding your alarm?

i didn’t think of that. oh no wait i did FOR THE LAST TEN MINUTES

Sorry. Look, just sit tight, I’m sure the police will be along soon y cant u come help?

Well the thing is... I’m not nearby y not

I left you at the pub. Had some drinks, got a taxi home. I was going to come and get you in the morning ngl feelin v betrayed rn

Look don’t worry. He’ll just have a rummage around, realise there’s nothing valuable, be on his way. It’s not the Eighties, he’s not going to hotwire you he’s hotwiring me

Ah we’re on the move now OK, I’ll call the police, keep me updated on your location nah ur ok. gonna stick with this guy Hang on you’re eloping with your kidnapper? least he actually wants me. ok changin my number now, cya x