RICCI’S GARAGE
Report 20 : Mark's broken open his piggy bank... you'll never guess what he's bought
Have you ever wondered just how and when you could possibly find use for an armour plated BMW all the way from Bulgaria? What do you mean no? It’s a question that’s plagued me for the past year though only after I’d gone and bought one
The answer is not very much Not at all in fact Because for months I’ve owned this tonne BMW E Series and for months it’s only ever moved briefly around a dusty farm shed in Northamptonshire And that feels like a complete waste given that its previous job was to chauffeur Bulgaria’s finance minister around
I’d love to reel off a load of excuses why like the DVLA being slow getting it registered Or the intermittent coilpack issue which rolls the dice as to how many cylinders will fire Sometimes eight sometimes Rarely the full dozen But ultimately it’s my own fault
I’ve always thought that any car being hoarded and not used should be left for someone to actually enjoy Which is why the Series is now sold and unsurprisingly it’s headed back to Eastern Europe Slovakia to be precise and to an owner who collects interesting BMWs including Es Finally a match made in heaven
There’s an important lesson to learn here Obscure cars are great especially for the joy of owning something completely ridiculous but they’re easily neglected and rarely used because of how specific their ‘use’ can be A more normal car may seem like a boring choice but actually its ability to be used every single day far outweighs the oddity factor
Which is why I’ve replaced the armoured Series with an ex Time Attack Toyota Starlet built by Jam Racing in Japan A stripped and caged Chihuahua weighing exactly one quarter of the old BMW Its little turbo produces bhp and without a big western buffoon like me inside it tips the scales at kg
Where do you find such a thing? That’s entirely Harlow Jap Auto’s fault For years I’ve harassed brothers Ozz and Arooj for interesting Japanese cars and annoyingly they always seem to deliver the goods It’s their fault I have an R GT R S¡ AMG Mercedes and a Ferrari ¡ Challenge racer And now it’s also their fault I have a Starlet so stripped back it doesn’t even have carpets
However around Tsukuba one of Japan’s most famous circuits it set a best lap of ¢£ back in That’s two seconds faster than the new GR Yaris managed and the same lap time as a ££ Turbo S Porsche It is ridiculous pointless and completely unnecessary But if you need me I’ll be Googling how and when you could possibly find use for a track ready Toyota Starlet all the way from Japan
Internationally renowned photographer Mark has been working with TG for many, many years. When not taking photos he’s buying inappropriate cars. Here he shares his addiction with the world
“WITHOUT A BIG WESTERN BUFFOON LIKE ME INSIDE, IT TIPS THE SCALES AT 840KG”