FUTURE PROOF

Dodge’s rebadged Tonale has ruffled Paul Horrell’s feathers – and reflects badly on Alfa Romeo

I find myself sad and angry on multiple levels since clapping eyes on the new Dodge Hornet You might have seen it but if not here’s the elevator pitch so you too can join me in righteous indignation It’s an Alfa Romeo Tonale with a nose job Same interior as the Alfa same profile and glass and all that Just a slappedon fake Dodge front end and tail lamps

It’s exhausting how often we’re obliged to get pissed off with Alfa Romeo The Tonale itself is sickeningly basically on a stretched Fiat ƒ„„X underneath But I tell myself to forgive it because it has different engines from the Fiat somewhat different suspension and crucially feels different ‡if not exactly excellentˆ to drive And it has a full doneinMilan Alfa styling job Anyway we have to allow the Tonale a bit of a free pass because if it didn’t exist Alfa would surely go under Too few people are willing to buy the pedigree Giulia and Stelvio so the cheaper mongrel Tonale is here to keep the tills ringing But while compact crossovers as a breed sell like superheated patisserie I don’t care for any of them and if Alfa were to aim one at me it would be peeing in the wind So as I say I’ll let the Tonale stand

Moving on a stage in this icky chain of events I also understand the commercial temptations that have turned

“APART FROM THE LIES, THERE’S THE BAREFACED SLACKARSE LAZINESS OF IT ALL”

the Tonale into the Hornet Badge engineering is a phenomenon endemic in the States for decades It just costs too much to do a groundup new car especially in these dying days of combustion where the onsale life of a compact crossover is likely to be curtailed below its amortisation period So Alfa has lent its car to Stellantis sibling brand Dodge Hey presto both see a halving of development and tooling cost per vehicle

So if I don’t like but can understand the fact they built the Tonale and don’t like but can understand the fact that they turned it into the Hornet why am I so angry? Because they lied to us They told us the Tonale could only be an Alfa inside and out Until all its interior and Ž„ per cent of its exterior became a Dodge duh

And apart from the lies there’s the barefaced slackarse laziness of it all Couldn’t they have at least run to giving the Hornet some different door pressings or a new dash moulding? Anything really that might have better obscured its origins and protected the credibility of an Alfa revival in the US where the two will be sold side by side?

It’s the usual modus operandi of struggling oncegreat brands They think they have the right to sell us cars by invoking heritage But now they drive a stake through the heart of that heritage by rebadging an Alfa as a Dodge And they think or hope we’ll just accept it Look if heritage really mattered the Hornet shouldn’t exist If the Hornet does exist it follows that heritage doesn’t matter And if heritage doesn’t matter there’s little reason for people to buy a crossover from Alfa They might as well go to Kia or Lynk&Co

TG’s eco-conscious megabrain, Paul Horrell, is one of the world’s most respected and experienced car writers. Has attended every significant car launch since the Model T