THE MIDDLE LANE
The Alpine A110 R Fernando Alonso has left TGTV’s Sam Philip scratching his head
Last month Alpine unveiled the A R Fernando Alonso a limited edition of its new track focused sports car celebrating the team’s Spanish F hot shoe Just examples will be built each with a unique plaque marking one of ’Nando’s career GP wins
Beyond that things get baffling For starters the A R Fernando Alonso was revealed shortly after Fernando Alonso’s shock announcement he was defecting from Alpine to Aston Martin which lent the special edition’s unveil some strong ‘sarcastic divorce settlement’ vibes In fact so frosty were relations Alonso didn’t attend the launch of his own car leaving duties to fellow driver Esteban Ocon “What’s that Esteban? The A Ocon Edition? Win a few more races and then we’ll see big lad ”
But more baffling than that is who’s it for? I know they only need to shift of them but even so to who? Are there really humans on this planet harbouring both a a desperate yearning for a small expensive lightweight French sports car and b a borderline stalker grade obsession with Fernando Alonso?
Put it this way I very much like the sound of the A R
If I was in the market for a two seat sports car it’d be right at the top of my list And I like Fernando Alonso As thick necked something Spaniards go he’s in my top three no question
“I VERY MUCH LIKE THE SOUND OF THE A110 R... AND I LIKE FERNANDO ALONSO”
But as an adult human with a reasonably well developed sense of shame I don’t think I could be seen driving a car scrawled with several examples of the signature of said thick necked something Spaniard Alonso’s ‘signature colours’ and a sun visor laser etched with the slogan “There is more than one path to the top of the mountain ” Fernando’s motto just not one he seems to have mentioned to anyone beforehand
That’s a level of celebrity devotion not healthy in anyone old enough to drive right? Even at the same k as the regular A R it’d be a tough sell Alpine’s asking k grand A full body Alonso tattoo conveys the same message for a lot less cash
Alpine isn’t the only offender here A couple of years back Hyundai released an Iron Man edition of its Kona Giant Marvel logo on the roof daytime running lights that “mimic the glowing eyes of Iron Man’s metal mask” Stark Industry graphics Tony Stark signature on the dash asking price Seriously who’s going to buy it? Do year olds now have the disposable income to buy South Korean SUVs?
Apparently they do Because I’ve just checked the estimable howmanyleft co uk and it turns out Hyundai’s shifted pretty much all of its UK allocation of Iron Man Konas all I’d guess to people who own mugs declaring “You don’t have to be mad to work here but it helps!” Which no doubt means the A R Fernando Alonso Editions will sell like laser etched hot cakes too Just not presumably to Fernando himself who’s already lining up his V Vantage company car
Sam Philip is the TopGear telly script editor, and a TG mag and website regular for 15 years. Once wrote a Vauxhall Corsa joke that Paddy McGuinness described as “not totally crap”
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