CITROEN C-MÉTISSE, 2006
They say that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over but expecting the same result. Like French carmakers and their luxury barges. They just seem to keep on coming, and nobody seems to keep on buying them.
Take this little showstopper from the Paris Motor Show back in 2006 – the Citroen C-Métisse. Not the Matisse, you understand, they’d already had to shell out a load of money just so they could write Picasso’s name on the side of a series of increasingly underwhelming MPVs. This weird looking four-door grand tourer rather deftly encapsulates all that Gallic car manufacturers wish you would buy from them, and they’ll keep on building it in various forms until you do, sunshine.
And what’s not to love about a gigantic soft riding four-seater diesel hybrid? There was a 208bhp 2.7-litre V6 diesel up front, two electric motors at the back rated at 20bhp each and a six-speed auto gearbox complete with that season’s must have flappy paddles.
Combined, the three motors were said to get the car to 62mph in 6.2secs and on to 155mph, although the claimed 43mpg is underwhelming for what was supposed to be the future. Peugeot experimented with diesel hybrid tech on its first generation 3008 SUV back in 2012, but it wasn’t what one might call a smash hit.
The doors were the coolest thing about the C-Métisse, and the least likely parts of the whole misguided lump to ever make it into series production. The fronts were hinged at the base of the A-pillar, opening forwards and up, while the rear doors were hinged at the base of the C-pillar and opened backwards and up. Certainly a dramatic way to arrive at the supermarket car park.
Inside, the C-Métisse was somewhat conventionally unconventional, if you get what we mean. It all looked like you’d expect a concept car to look – swoopy lines, individual seats and impractical buttons. This was back when cars still had buttons, we shouldn’t complain. The start button for the engine was put on the ceiling though, just to keep you on your toes. Weirdly, the driver’s headrest was also mounted to the roof – the ceiling is prime untapped automotive interior real estate, more things should be up there.
Was Citroen upset that people weren’t more excited about the C-Métisse? They had to make a big sign during its debut because people kept leaving their drinks on it. The firm was keen to play on the concept’s sporty drive, which at least the driver got to enjoy as he took it back to a large warehouse outside of Paris. A large luxury mistake never to be repeated. Until the next time, that is.