TOWN OR COUNTRY?

TOWN

A museum that I return to time and again… ‘The National Portrait Gallery.’

My all-time favourite London restaurant is… ‘God, too difficult to choose. Depends on my mood, but you can’t go wrong with the River Café, the Wolseley and Barrafina.’

My dream cinema date would be to see… ‘The Wicker Man (by myself).’

If I had to be locked in one shop overnight, it would be… ‘Fortnum’s, obviously.’

In town, you’ll never catch me… ‘trying to shoot grey squirrels.’

The best bar in town is… ‘Quo Vadis or Dukes.’

…where you’ll find me ordering… ‘a Tanqueray martini, Gobi dry.’

My fondest London memory is… ‘any long lunch at a wonderful restaurant with old friends that stretches languorously into dinner. No masks. No social-distancing. No curfew. No Covid.’

And the weirdest? ‘Many a lost Soho afternoon. Good weird, though.’

COUNTRY

My key piece of country kit has to be… ‘my Mcusta pocket knife.’

The best view in Britain is… ‘from the church on Bowden Hill in Wiltshire, looking out towards Bath.’

My favourite country pub is… ‘the George Inn in Lacock, where mine’s a pint of Wadworth 6X.’

The finest tree is… ‘the willow.’

The prize for literature’s greatest country gent must go to… ‘Sir Harry Flashman VC, disgracefully retired.’

The stately home I’d live in would be… ‘Port Eliot.’

My rural style icon is… ‘Worzel Gummidge.’

Never tell a country bumpkin… ‘that Tony Blair wasn’t all bad.’

In the country, you’ll never see me… ‘in a gilet.’

On balance, my heart belongs… ‘in the town, mainly – but more and more, in the country…’ ‘Fortnum & Mason: Time for Tea’ (£20, Fourth Estate) by Tom Parker Bowles is published on 29 April.