“I’m not political… however!”
The ever-popular musings of a narrowboat horse on the Montgomery Canal.
IF THAT ‘however’ was a ‘butt’, I’d be a goat but I’m not, so there! I don’t drink wine, go to garden parties or combine business with pleasure, however I can’t help but get embroiled with human shenanigans.
This isn’t because I enjoy them, although there is a certain degree of pleasure from following the daily ins, outs and burrowings of human life. But (not butt), how on earth are we supposed to survive, respect or obey our so-called betters (or should that be butters?), when they behave like ponies on Dartmoor, i.e. wild, uncontrollable and completely oblivious to acceptable behaviour?
Phew, what a rollercoaster ride life is! I’m supposed to be writing about the tranquillity, well-being and positivity of living life on, by or adjacent to canals and I get continually bombarded by the negativity of human reality!
Editor: Steady on there Cracker, you really do need to take a chill pill.
I know Ed, but however much I show deference to the supremacy of mankind, I can’t help thinking that us ’orses could do a better job.
Ed: Okay, says you – prove it!
Well, every time I see a photo of idyllic canal life, i.e. blue skies, flowering flora and captivating fauna, I reflect on the images either side of this perfection. Pile- driven banking that prevents water voles from burrowing; neglected, muddy towpaths that hamper mothers’ pushchairs and inaccessible nature reserves that even Dr Livingstone would struggle to find. (That’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into Stanley!)
Wheelchair access
One of the slightly younger members of our team recently walked down from Queenshead to Aston middle lock to investigate the newly installed wheelchair ramp either side of the crossover, pedestrian bridge that provides the only access to the nature reserves. It’s just under a mile walk from the car park and is the nearest one to these impressive havens.
These oases of natural sustainability are a delight to behold (mind you, they should be for the money they cost). However, it’s such a shame that the unmade-up towpath resembles the century-old, muddy road between Ypres and Menin. A wheelchair-user paralympian may have the necessary energy to get there, but the steep, gravel slope to and from the bridge would challenge even the most enthusiastic.
Likewise, the more affluent disabled person, with the latest (and widest) electrical chairs, would be equally stymied, as the original bridge is very narrow. I just wonder if the appropriate people were consulted about the practicalities of wheelchair access, or whether just some well-meaning amateurs ‘did their best’?
The photos show both sides of this predicament, namely, some well-appointed, informative nature reserves versus the impracticalities of accessibility.
I sincerely hope that the above diatribe doesn’t come across as yet another example of retrospective schadenfreude, as I’m in full and complete admiration of the restoration results of our beloved Monty, but it would be remiss of me to gloss over the less-than-perfect aspects of man’s efforts (after all, I’m only an ’orse!)
Until next time, may your bucket contain more carrots than mine currently does.
Love Cracker
If you would like to comment on any of Cracker’s remarks, please get in touch via email at hello@ bywatercruises.co.uk or on Twitter @bywater_holiday or follow him on Facebook under BoatHorseCracker.