‘It’s amazing and a blessing’
Siblings David Mcbride and Helen Ward – both foundlings – on how Long Lost Family has changed their lives
LONG LOST FAMILY: BORN WITHOUT TRACE
NEW MON & TUE / ITV / 9PM / EPS 1-2 of 2 / REAL LIFE
Born six years apart, in 1960s Ireland, foundlings David Mcbride and
Helen Ward spent years independently searching for their birth parents, who abandoned them as babies.
To their amazement, they each found out they had a full sibling that they’d never known about when a DNA database matched them as brother and sister.
Their astonishing story is told in the first of a new two-part series of Long Lost Family: Born Without Trace, which includes their emotional first meeting with the support of presenters Davina Mccall and Nicky Campbell.
Here, David, 58, and Helen, 52, tell TV Times more…
How much did you know about where you came from?
HELEN: I was told quite early as a child that I was adopted, but I never really took it on board until I was eight or nine, when one of my cousins commented on it.
From then on, I questioned it more. But it was only in 2003 that I discovered from a social worker that I was a foundling. DAVID: I didn’t know much until I went to the Belfast family court in 1969 and my parents explained that I was adopted. When I went to join the military, I needed my birth certificate, and my parents told me more about what had gone on. I didn’t even know what the word ‘foundling’ meant until that point!
Can you describe the feeling of living without having the answers you needed?
HELEN: For me, it’s like you’ve got a family tree with the names on the branches missing. You want to find out who your birth parents were, what the situation was. The who, what, where, when and why. DAVID: You’re looking for a sense of identity, and answers as to why you are the way you are. Even though probably 75% of your personality is from your adoptive parents and the environment in which they brought you up.
What situations would especially bring these questions to mind? HELEN: People would say, ‘You look a lot like your [adoptive] mother.’ And you’d think, ‘She’s actually not my mother – I wonder what my mother did look like?’ Or when your children are born, you think, ‘I wonder if they look like my birth parents?’
DAVID: I lived for playing sport, but no one else in my adoptive family was like that. So it used to intrigue me where that came from.
What was it like hearing that you had a full sibling?
HELEN: I felt like a little feather in a hurricane! To discover David was my brother gave me a great sense of relief, comfort and excitement. It was the most amazing moment of my life. DAVID: It was a fantastic feeling to find I had a full sister who had gone through the same scenarios. Amazing, and a blessing.
What was your first meeting like? HELEN: Unique, surreal, exciting – it was just absolutely amazing! DAVID: It was as if the world had stopped when I met Helen. I didn’t even notice the cameras!
How has it been getting to know each other?
HELEN: It’s like when you haven’t seen a friend for many years, and you just pick up where you left off. That’s how it feels.
DAVID: Obviously we’ve lost a lot of time with each other. We are learning to be a proper brother and sister, that’s very important.
You also discovered your birth parents weren’t married. What do you make of their situation? DAVID: People have to understand the situation in 1960s Ireland. Society would have frowned upon an extramarital affair and children brought into the world because of it. For our mum, her position was untenable and she had nowhere to turn.
How do you view the decision they made about you?
DAVID: Our parents made a very difficult decision, which, in the end, seems to have been the right one for me and Helen, because we were blessed to have such wonderful adoptive parents.
Has this changed you?
HELEN: Our adoptive parents have given us a lovely life. And now, to know who our biological parents are – and to have the support of David – is wonderful. It’s given me peace of mind, and now another chapter is about to start.
DAVID: We both have a tendency to protect ourselves from other people. Slowly those protective walls will come down, but they’ve been up for a long time.
WE ARE LEARNING TO BE A PROPER BROTHER AND SISTER
DAVID MCBRIDE