ONE OF QUEEN FOR A DAY
WE’VE all wondered what it would be like to be One of Queen for a Day, and anyone who says they haven’t is a fucking liar. But, given the chance to be a member of the world’s most iconic rock band, which one of Queen would YOU choose to be? We rounded up four of our favourite celebs and asked them one simple question: If you could spend 24 hours as one of Queen, which one of Queen would YOU be?
Richard Dawkins, heretical egg-head
If I had to be one of Queen for Day, I’d probably be FREDDIE MERCURY. By spending 24 hours as a dead person, I would be able to confirm once and for all that there is no God or afterlife, and that all religious tracts are full of shit. My first priority during my short stint as Mercury would be to scour the godless void of death, taking photos of all the nothingness and collecting a dossier of conclusive evidence for the inexistence of an allknowing deity. But if I had any time left after that, I would probably put on a silver sequin jumpsuit and strut about in front of the mirror, rubbing a microphone stand against my genitals whilst pouting my lips.
Walter J Palmer, lion-killing dentist
As the bald assassin of Cecil the Lion, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to a) feel compassion for animals, and b) have a full head of hair. For that reason, if I was one of Queen for a Day, I’d definitely be BRIAN MAY. I would spend my 24 hours as Brian campaigning vociferously on behalf of my fellow creatures whilst fondling my long, luxuriant locks, until the clock struck midnight and it was time for me to return to my normal slapheaded, beast-slaughtering self again.
Piers Morgan, universally despised telly fave
I have an almost psychopathic lust for attention, and if people stop looking at me or talking about me for more than ten seconds, I start to go a bit funny. It would make a refreshing change to spend 24 hours as someone who didn’t crave the spotlight quite so maniacally, and for that reason, if I was one of Queen for a Day, I’d be
JOHN DEACON. As the “quiet man” of the group, who retired from public view in the mid-Nineties, I could spend a peaceful 24 hours being totally comfortable in my own skin, before I returned to my regular pastime of saying outrageous things on Twitter to make people notice me.
Roger Taylor, drummer of Duran Duran
The idea of becoming someone else for a day has fascinated me since my youth. The mind-blowing concept of living under a whole new name and taking up an entirely different profession is the stuff of dystopian sciencefiction fantasy, and I have to admit it has filled me with wonder and awe for the best part of my 56 years on this planet. So, with that in mind, if I was offered the chance to become one of Queen for a Day, I would probably choose ROGER TAYLOR, the drummer.