VIZ

Tie In The Sky

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YOUR questions about neckwear in outer space, answered by tie-loving D:REAM stargazer PROFESSOR BRIAN COX Dear Brian, Do astronauts wear ties? And if so, do they have to be much bigger than normal ties in order to fit around their helmets? Marvin Simple, Petersfiel­d

Brian says: Astronauts do not in fact wear ties. The reason they don’t wear ties is simple: the lack of gravity in a spaceship means that any loose, dangling neckwear would inevitably drift upwards, potentiall­y getting caught in the vessel’s intricate machinery, and thus endangerin­g the lives of the crew. This is also why you don’t see astronauts wearing scarves, bandanas or those Australian hats with corks on them.

Dear Brian, We’ve all heard of Orion’s Belt, but are there any astral constellat­ions out there in the shape of a tie? Edmund Catastroph­e, Lincoln

Brian says: Technicall­y, any two stars in the night sky can be connected together with a straight line to make a tie-like constellat­ion, which the Greeks would γραβάτα”. have called “Since there are an infinite number of stars in the sky, there are therefore twice infinity tie-like constellat­ions. Unfortunat­ely, after naming the first two they γραβάτα γραβάτα spotted “Major” and “Minor”, they would of ran out of names to call them and went off to make some rude vases or invent the Olympic Games instead.

Dear Brian, According to the Multiverse Theory, there must be one universe out there in the vast expanse of space in which astronauts do wear ties. Does this mean you were wrong earlier when you said that they didn’t? Jeff Corpse, Lewisham

Brian says:says Theoretica­lly, yes, but in reality, no. Because even if I am wrong in this universe, there is another universe where I was right. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Dear Brian, Do you think aliens wear ties? D Icke, Isle of Wight

Brian says: f you look at pictures of aliens, they always seem to have long, spindly fingers - ideal for tying knots - so I would say that, yes, they probably do wear ties. However, we cannot know for certain whether they wear them all the time for work or just on formal occasions. It all depends whether they have shirts with collars or prefer a more modern-looking polo neck.

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