GAME OF THRONES SEX SECRETS OF YOUR FAVE BICCIE

THE only thing better than sitting down to watch Game of Thrones is sitting down to watch Game of Thrones … with a nice plate of biscuits on your lap! Rich Teas, Hobnobs, Custards Creams or Nices … the choice is yours. But did you realise that the type of biscuit you prefer says a lot about which character out of Game of Thrones you are in bed?

That’s according to leading TV psychiatrist DR RAJ PERSAUD, who has now put his 2008 3-month suspension from the General Medical Council for dishonesty firmly behind him. He told us: “There is overwhelming scientific evidence to suggest that our favourite biscuits are an accurate indicator of which GoT star we most closely resemble between the sheets. And anyway, 2008 was a long time ago, so let’s draw a line under the past and move on.”

“The D and A in our cells causes everyone to be a particular Game of Thrones character sexually. It’s a scientific fact that the same strand of D and A is also responsible for releasing pleasure-giving endorphins in our brains that make us prefer one sort of biscuit over another when we are eating biscuits. Something like that anyway.”

“Eleven fucking years. Come on. Get over it,” he added.

And now, Dr Persaud has crunched through the biscuit data to offer us these crumbs of scientific wisdom to reveal how… Which Biscuit you prefer from your Teatime biscuit assortment says a lot about which Game of Thrones character you are in bed.