Cut-Out-n-Keep Game of Thrones Costume Survival Guide
WHETHER we’re attending a costume party, or attempting to re-inject some spark into our sex life, we all love dressing up as Game of Thrones characters. However, a store-bought GoT outfit can be pricey – often setting a buyer back hundreds of hard-earned pounds. If only there was a way to get that authentic Westeros look WITHOUT doing a ‘Red Wedding’ on your wallet... Well, now there is!
We’ve teamed up with big-boned TV naturalist RAY MEARS to bring you this fantastic ‘cut-out-n-keep’ guide to making your very own Game of Thrones costume from the natural detritus in Britain’s woodlands. “That’s right,” says Ray. “Believe it or not, everything you need for a great GoT cosplay outfit can be found FOR FREE on the forest floor.” Here, the salad-shunning survivalist talks us through three iconic Game of Thrones looks, and how they can be achieved quite simply using Mother Nature’s bounty.
KHAL DROGO
THIS burly Dothraki warlord has an instantly recognisable style, which can be easily replicated in any verdant area. First things first, crush some ripe blackberries in your hand, before dragging your fingers carefully down each shoulder to recreate Drogo’s dark purple tribal markings. For his moody black-rimmed eyes, simply locate some fresh badger dung and smear it generously onto your eyelids – taking care not to get any faecal matter into your retinas or iris. For the Dothraki battle armour, rip several long strips of bark from a nearby tree, and then wrap them tightly around your wrists, torso and waist, accessorising with a few snazzy field mushroom ‘belt buckles’. Drogo’s trademark ponytail can be achieved by simply trapping and killing a squirrel, then affixing it to the back of your head with tree sap. Finally, for the warlord’s bushy beard, stick clumps of brown lichen moss to your face with mud, before hanging a couple of conkers off the end of your chin. Hey presto – you’re ready to saddle up and reclaim the Seven Kingdoms!
JOFFREY BARATHEON
AMORAL sadist Joffrey is the GoT character fans love to hate, and dressing up as this boyish bellend is sure to cause a stir at any Thrones-themed kneesup. Joffrey’s iconic golden crown is the most impor tant element of his costume – and luckily it’s the exact same size and shape as the average bird’s nest! Once you’ve tracked down your nest and shooed away its inhabitants, crack any eggs you find inside and use their yolk to paint your ‘crown’ yellow, employing a frayed twig as a paintbrush. For Joffrey’s multi-coloured regal frock, simply stitch together a rudimentary bodysuit from various different kinds of leaves, using goose grass for cotton and a porcupine quill as a needle. Now there’s only one thing missing: the boy King’s trademark crossbow. For this prop, attach a sturdy tree branch to the curved rib bone of a dead sheep, before threading some bindweed through as string. Bob’s your uncle – you’re the spitting image of everyone’s favourite incest-born bastard!
DAENERYS TARGARYEN
FOR female GoT fans, there’s only one cosplay costume wor th considering: the Mother of Dragons herself, Daenerys Targaryen! Use thick clumps of pampas grass or white weeping willow for her distinctive platinum hair – or, if you happen to be near a farm, simply chop off a horse’s tail and plonk on your head. A frog with two large oak leaves stuck to its back makes an ideal miniature shoulder-dragon, whilst a simple pine cone is a superb stand-in for one of Daenerys’ precious dragon eggs. Kill and skin a passing deer to fashion your dress and cape, and for the Queen’s iconic diagonal silver chain, simply dig down into the ear th until you strike iron, manganese, lead, zinc or tungsten. Any of these semi-precious metals can then be moulded into a chain-shape and heated over a birch bark fire until they solidify. And that’s your Stormborn costume – Khal-eesi as one, two, three!