STRIPPLY COME DANCING

UK’s leading stripshow impresario auditions the stars

ASK any real red-blooded fella to name his dream job and the answer will always be the same... Having hundreds of lust-crazed women clawing hungrily at your bare, oiled flesh on a nightly basis is the average bloke’s ULTIMATE fantasy, and he’s lying if he says it isn’t.

However, while the glamorous lives of these muscle-bound hunks may look enticing in hit Hollywood films such as

Magic Mike and The Full Monty, the reality can often be quite different.

“When one of my lads turns up to strut his stuff at your do, be it a hen-night, birthday bash or retirement party, the girls in the crowd are guaranteed a proper show with the full teacake,” says Alec Seedy, CEO of Nottingham’s leading erotic entertainment agency. “To achieve this, they spend hours in the gym every day, toning their bodies to the peak of perfection.”

According to Seedy, the rewards on offer reflect the dedication and sheer hard graft required to become a top male erotic artiste. “A good stripper at the top of his game can easily make fifty or sixty quid a night,” he told us. “Not to mention the obvious fringe benefits. Backstage after the show, he can literally take his pick of the baying middle-aged women in the crowd.” “Sure it’s an alluring prospect, and the average bloke in the street might think he could make it in the cockshow game, but let me tell you, it’s not as easy as the professionals make it look.” “Being a male stripper is the hardest job in showbiz.” But could other leading entertainment professionals hack it as top burlesque artistes? We asked Alec to use his skill and judgement, honed over four decades at the helm of Seedy Promotions Inc., to mentally audition a roster of hopeful household names to see if they have what it takes to become successful male strippers.