Fiona Bruce

LEADER of Her Majesty’s government and the principal figure in the House of Commons, the PM is the top job in British politics. A good premier must be a charming, confident all-rounder, able to turn his or her hand to any matter of state business. And for Ronnie’s fictional celebrity cabinet, there was only one choice: shapely Beeb national treasure

FIONA BRUCE.

“As an open-minded bloke, I’m not opposed to a bird prime minister,” says Ronnie. “But that said – and with the greatest respect – the two we’ve had so far haven’t been particularly easy on the eye. Which is why a corker like Ms Bruce would make a refreshing change of pace.”

“Every single red-blooded man in Britain has fantasised about the Fake or Fortune temptress at some point, and having a stunner such as Fiona leading our nation would surely see the UK moving front and centre on the world stage once more.”

“But Bruce is more than just a pretty face and cracking arse. In her time at the Beeb, she has popped up on just about every programme going, which means she has all the versatile qualities needed for a top PM. As Question Time host, she is used to taking charge of a roomful of squabbling politicians, and as presenter of the Ten O’clock News, she’s well versed on current affairs. Her stints on The Money Programme and Crimewatch mean she understands finance and law, while her appearances on the Antiques Roadshow display her skill in humouring the great unwashed.”

“All in all, getting Fiona on board as PM would be a real ‘Brucie’ bonus for my theoretical A-List cabinet.”