CANDID CANVAS
New survey reveals red-hot habits of British campers
CAMPING IS A PASTIME THAT IS OFTEN ASSOCIATED WITH DULL, UNIMAGINATIVE COUPLES, PEOPLE WITH NO SENSE OF ADVENTURE WHO HOLIDAY IN THE SAME PLACE YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR; THOSE SO WARY OF THE UNKNOWN THAT THEY SHUN HOTELS, STAYING ONLY UNDER CANVAS, SURROUNDING THEMSELVES WITH THINGS THAT ARE FAMILIAR. THESE PEOPLE, YOU MIGHT THINK, ALSO HAVE TEDIOUS AND HUMDRUM SEX LIVES, MAKING LOVE JUST A FEW TIMES A YEAR, ALWAYS IN BED, ALWAYS IN THE DARK, AND ALWAYS IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION.
SO YOU MAY BE SURPRISED BY THE RESULTS OF A NEW SURVEY BY THE CAMPING AND CARAVANNING ASSOCIATION WHICH SUGGESTS THAT BRITISH CAMPERS LEAD FULL, EXCITING, AND VERY OFTEN ADVENTUROUS SEX LIVES.
The survey, conducted last year, asked 7,000 people buying a tent to fill out a questionnaire asking if the tent was a first purchase or an upgrade, and how often they planned to use it.
EROTIC
The questionnaire then went on to ask for intimate details about the purchasers’ sex lives, including the number of partners they have had, their preferred sexual positions, their favourite erotic fantasies and fetishes, and whether or not they have ever been treated for venereal disease.
“Most people were happy to take part in the survey, not least because participants were entered into a prize draw to win a chemical toilet,” said Camping and Caravanning Association President Brian Bland. “And some of the results were a bit of an eye opener, I can tell you.”.
According to the results, most couples who take a camping holiday every year enjoy sex on average five time a week, with those owning a four-man ridge tent becoming intimate every day and twice at the weekend.
And contrary to stereotype, the Missionary Position did not feature amongst campers’ favourite sexual postures, with 59% of frame tent owners preferring Reverse Cowgirl, whilst 78% of dome tent owners plumped for the Seated Wheelbarrow. The Snow Angel proved to be the favourite position of congress for couples with a threeberth trailer tent.
CHERRIES
“Most campers lost their virginity at seventeen, with those who pitch a geodesic dome tent popping their cherries a year later,” said Bland. “So much for campers being prudes.”.
And it seems that when it comes to sexual fantasies, camping enthusiasts are anything but dull.
“We asked the tent buyers to describe in detail their favourite erotic fantasy, and some of the stories we got were red hot,” said Bland.
“Fantasies about group sex were very common amongst men owning knuckle joint tents of any size, whilst ladies who owned this type of tent preferred fantasies about sex in forbidden places like a library or church.”
Bland hopes that the results of the survey will change people’s preconceptions about campers and lead to an increase in the popularity of camping holidays.