ALLIWANTFOR CHRISTMAS IS (A) POO!
Carey Reveals Christmas Constipation Nightmare
MULTI-OCTAVED SINGER MARIAH CAREY HAS REVEALED THAT SHE DOESN’T WANT TO RECEIVE ANY PRESENTS, CARDS OR EVEN TURKEY THIS FESTIVE SEASON. AND SHE STUNNED HER FANS BY ANNOUNCING THAT ALL SHE WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS IS TO BE ABLE TO PASS A NORMAL STOOL.
“OMG! I dread Xmas,” she tweeted in early November, followed by ten emoticon angry faces, leaving her 21.6 million twitter followers wondering what the diva had against the festive season.
But the Songbird Supreme clarified her social media outburst last week. “It’s usually around the 21st or 22nd of December that I just stop being able to go to the lavvie for a sit down visit,” she told Last Week Tonight’s John Oliver.
“I sit there with the Radio Times or Exchange and Mart and nothing comes out,” she confessed. She went on to explain that the problem often lasts until New Year’s Day, leaving her feeling bloated, tired and sick.
BLOATED
“I don’t understand why I have this problem,” she told Oliver. “I talked to Shania Twain, and she gets up on Christmas morning, drops a ton of fudge and then opens all her presents.”
“Then she has a Christmas dinner, the full Monty with a goose and all the trimmings, and then goes for another dump in the afternoon,” she added. “I’m, like, so jealous.”
GUTS
But medical experts say Carey’s Christmas constipation is extremely common and is brought about by the stress of the festive season. “It’s all down to a combination of excitement about opening her presents and nerves about the big day going to plan,” says Dr Ben Goldacre, author of Bad Guts Science.
“Christmas is an extremely stressful time and Mariah will be worrying about whether she’s got enough chairs for when her family come over for dinner, or if she’s done enough roasties, things like that,” he said.
“This anxiety releases hormones that cause the gut to go into spasm,” he added. “Peristalsis – the wave of contractions that push waste through the intestine – stops and it all just sits there.”
And Goldacre had this advice for anyone suffering from a simlilar festive blockage. “It’s all psychological,” he said. “If you just slow down, relax and enjoy the festive season without the pressure of trying to please everyone, you’ll have the turtle’s head just as the Bond film finishes.”