SEX BOMBS AWAY!

SEXUALLY attractive people have for centuries suffered at the hands of their affliction. But on some occasions, it is other people who fall foul of their allure.

IN 1992, Right Said Fred frontman RICHARD FAIRBRASS was shopping in London when he witnessed a taxi pull out of Harewood Place into Oxford Street and run into a number 94 bus heading towards Acton Green. Nobody was injured in the collision, and the taxi driver was blamed for failing to check both ways before pulling out onto the thoroughfare. But it was accepted that Fairbrass’s strong, sexual magnetism had distracted both of the drivers and according to insurers “had played no small part in the cause of the accident.”

IN 2003, a light aircraft crashed on landing at Sacramento airport in California. The pilot, who survived the accident, had taken off from Fresno four hours earlier and had reported no problems during the flight and the black box recovered from the wreckage showed that all the plane’s instrumentation was working. Air crash investigators concluded that the actor BRAD PITT, who was in the Sacramento departure lounge waiting for a connecting flight, was giving off such powerful sexual vibrations, that they interfered with the electromagnetic microwaves used by the aircraft’s navigation system, causing it to lose the ability to calculate a safe flight path and altitude.

WHILST spending the day on South Beach, Miami, Hollywood A-lister DAKOTA JOHNSON was exuding such potent, sexual allure that she caused six young men nearby to begin showing off in the water. Whilst trying to impress the Fifty Shades of Grey star, the group got into difficulty in deep water. The men, all sophomores from the Florida State University, were eventually rescued by lifeguards. Arriving on the scene after the incident, Miami Police spoke to Johnson and warned her about the dangers of being extremely sexy and desirable in a public place.