BUNG A BOB FOR BOJO’S BOLLOCKS

IN BORIS Johnson, the United Kingdom has a Prime Minister* of whom we can be rightly proud. The father of at least seven or eight children, possibly more, he is surely the most fecund politician ever to have held the keys to Number 10. But how much prouder we as a nation would be, if Boris were the most fruitful political leader in the world!

A Google search of “world leader with the most kids” didn’t throw up any conclusive results, but we’re guessing that the record can’t be more than a dozen. So we’re on a mission to get our tousle-haired PM to spawn another five tousle-haired offsping to take the title of most fructiferous leader the world has ever seen.

But as any parent knows, children do not come cheap. Disposable nappies, formula milk and nannies all come at a cost, and scratching a living on a paltry £160,000 a year, Boris may decide that seven or eight kids or thereabouts is all he can afford.

So we’re asking YOU, the big-hearted Viz readers, to chip in and Bung us a Bob for BoJo’s Bollocks.

We’re hoping to raise half a million quid – enough for our superfertile First Lord of the Treasury to sire another five little Johnsons and make Britain worldbeating once again. And what’s more, we’re going to get the balls rolling by chipping in with an £8 donation.

Send whatever you can afford, and every issue we’ll update our BoJo’s Bollocks totaliser untill we reach the climax at half a million pounds. *Boris Johnson was still Prime Minister at the time of going to press – and we can’t conceive of a scenario that would cause him to resign or be sacked – so we assume he will be in the post for the foreseeable future.