I AM THE EGG MAN!
Colwick egg salesman sues Fab Four
ANOTTINGHAMSHIRE mobile egg salesman has launched legal action against the surviving members of the Beatles, claiming that one of the group’s songs has caused him lost sales.
For the last 5 years, BARTRAM DUCKFIELD has run a successful business selling eggs door to door from his van in the Colwick area of Nottingham. But over the last 3 months he has seen profits go down, and now he thinks he has identified the reason.
“It’s the song about the walrus that the Beatles did what’s the problem,” he told the Colwick Ganglion. “People on my round know me as ‘The Egg Man’. They don’t call me Bartram, or Mr Duckfield. It’s ‘The Egg Man’.”
elsewhere
Duckfield believes the song I Am the Walrus, which contains the line ‘I am the egg man’ could be leading his customers to get their eggs elsewhere. “If people think somebody in the Beatles is selling eggs, they’re going to get them from them, aren’t they?” he asked rhetorically.
“I used to shift about three hundred dozen eggs a week, and now I do half that. It’s the pulling power of celebrity,” he fumed.
“The fact is, Paul McCartney isn’t the egg man, and neither is Ringo Starr. I am. I’ve even got it painted on the side of my van, for chuff’s sake,” the 45-year-old peripatetic egg vendor fumed.
Now Duckfield has written to exBeatle members Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr and asked them to withdraw the controversial song from future releases of the Magical Mystery Tour album, but he has yet to hear back from them.
However, many of Barry’s customers who have stopped buying his eggs say they are not getting them from surviving members of the Fab Four. And some have a different explanation for The Egg Man’s drop in sales.
“I stopped buying them because he put his prices up just before Christmas,” said one woman, who used to buy a dozen eggs a week from Barry. “He was charging three times what the supermarket does. I mean, I don’t mind supporting local businesses, but that’s just taking the piss.”
thomas’s
“I don’t know where he bought his eggs from, but I don’t think they were always the freshest,” said another of Barry’s former customers. “And he claimed they were free rangers, but he didn’t fool me, no matter how many little feathers he stuck on them. I know a battery egg when I see one.”
“To be honest, I thought he was a bit creepy. He were overly friendly on the doorstep, and he never looked you in the eyes,” she said. “His eyes were always elsewhere, if you know what I mean.”