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Othe years, Viz staff have become accustomed to readers asking for free plugs for their books, films or shows. Without exception, such begging letters are met with immediate rejection. And all the cheapskates and chancers who send them share one thing in common – they are ordinary people trying to drum up publicity for their products with limited financial resources.

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But last week, two wealthy members of BBC radio royalty approached Viz Comic looking for free publicity. Multi-millionaires MARK RADCLIFFE and MARC RILEY were hoping to keep their cash whilst blagging a complimentary plug for their upcoming tour Carry On! An Audience with Mark and Lard. But the wellheeled pair’s request did not go down well with Viz editor HAMPTON DOUBLEDAY.

“It is common knowledge that the BBC pay their talent vast amounts of public money,” said the gobsmacked editor. “Gary Lineker, for example, gets a million pounds for each episode of Match of the Day he presents. You cannot convince me that this pair are not similarly remunerated for their 6Music shows. They must both be as rich as Croesus.”

“For ordinary people who are financially embarrassed to ask for publicity is

We called the 6Music DJs to ask about their plans for publicity now that a free plug for their show, which begins at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire on September 26th, had been turned down.

DOUBLEDAY: Unimpressed

understandable. But for someone with the obscene wealth of Mark and Lard to ask for a freebie simply beggars belief.”

“If they want to advertise their tour, they should part with some of their vast fortune.”

“Well we’ll just have to pay a top London ad agency to sort it out,” said Radcliffe, speaking into a specially commissioned gold iPhone with diamonds in the keypad. “It will cost what most people would consider a fortune, but is actually pocket change to me and the boy Lard.”